teamzaylor: (Zaylor - Zac & Tay)
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Chapter: 14
Rating: Nc-17
POV: Taylor
Summary: The death of their parents broke Taylor and Zac apart. Each of them went his own way of life, Taylor became a famous superstar and never thought that his profession would bring his life in danger someday. Blade (Zac) buried the past and lived his life contentedly in his dark and dirty world as a pimp. Because of some unexpected circumstances Blade got hired as Taylor's bodyguard and the brothers saw each other for the first time after almost a decade. How will they find a way to each other again after the past had put thick walls between them?

Authors Notes: Hello guys in Chapter 14 we go back to Taylor's POV. Hope you enjoy. Chapter 15 will be posted in the following days. Thanks everyone who reads and comments ♥♥♥

previous Chapter 13                                                                                                                                                             next Chapter 15

Chapter 14 - 01Chapter 14 - 02 The-Veteran-tagged3            
Chapter 14 - 03

I woke up the next morning with sticky eyelashes from the tears, my face was still lying on the diary pages. I had cried myself to sleep and the tears still stung like acid streaming down my face.

Weak daylight fell through my window, the first day without my family.


I didn't even expect to wake up anymore after last night. It felt like a miracle that I had slept at all and that made me feel even guiltier. My tired body must have left me hanging at some point when I fell asleep...

The cold realization that I was still here slowly began to set in.

A picture of Natalie and I stood on the nightstand on her side of the bed. It was taken during happier days which were so far away now that they felt almost unreal and unreachable today.

Goodbye my Love... why did god take you away?


Forgive me Hope Alexandria...

this was the name for my daughter I had in my mind since Nat told me that we were expecting a girl. Sadly she never got a chance to see daylight...

I tried to escape myself from the unbearable thoughts and found myself humming quietly a song that I wrote years ago.

Waking up this morning, thinking this can't be real...
But there's nothing Love can't heal...

I was so wrong. There was no one in the world who had love for me anymore and I will never be happy again. Even if my brother was able to protect me from that crazy Stalker, nothing and no one could save me anymore.

I tried to turn around so not to have to look into my wife's eyes anymore. Even though she smiled in the picture, all I saw was her staring; her gaze was full of reproach towards me... the same dull staring that was in her eyes as I held her lifeless hand the night before.

But somehow my body wouldn’t move.

What the fuck?

I tried to turn again, but realized I couldn't move my hands. I looked down at my wrists and saw that they were tied to the bed frame by my own scarves.

What the hell was going on here? Was I still dreaming or was this real? I was still contemplating while I angrily tried to unbind myself but my wrists didn't budge an inch no matter how much I tried. Instead it just hurt and felt like the scarves got tighter around my wrists. Fantastic! Fuck the bastard who had confined me to my own bed!

I didn't know what to do. If this was Zachary's way of protecting me, he was even crazier than fucking Twink Twink! I didn't know how he managed to confine me while I was sleeping. Maybe he remembered that I usually slept deeply. But he wouldn't stop me from killing myself. I would find a way and no one and nothing would be able to stop me from going to the place where my family is.

But what could I do now, wait until Skye or Zac to come to get me? Scream?

I was mad, but at the same time I didn't want to make a fool of myself and shout for my little brother to come and help me!

That was definitely not an option. I wished I was able to conjure forth Skye, but I wasn't sure if he'd look for me at all. Compared to my uncivilized brother Skye wouldn't just come in univited, He was
very respectful of privacy.

As if being confined to my bed wasn't enough trouble, I felt light pressure on my bladder. If no one came for me soon, the situation would become even more embarrassing than it already was. I hoped I wouldn't have an accident.

Suddenly a worthwhile idea came into my mind. My cell phone was still in my back pocket as I had not showered the night before. After the cruel incidents yesterday, I neither had the strength nor the desire to get changed into pajamas. I still lay there in the same clothes from yesterday. It was untypical for me not to shower after a concert but those minor matters didn't matter for me after the horrible events.

If I was lucky it should still be in my pocket, although I wasn't sure if I was able to reach it. But I didn't see any other alternative.

So I sucked in a deep breath and strained my hand to reach out for my phone. I stretched my fingers as best as I could, and clawed over my butt until I finally felt the top of the hard plastic frame. Good thing my pianist hands were trained, I only needed three attempts until my frantic efforts paid off.

The cold plastic felt like a salvation in my hand. I knew I wouldn't be able to bring my hand to my ear but at least I could dial Skye's number which I had saved under speed dial. I just needed to press '1' and he would hopefully answer the phone. Hastily I pressed the number, anything was better than waiting for my brother to come.

I tried to listen hard to see if Skye was answering the phone but the microphone was too far away and obviously to quiet.

All I could do was wait, I totally forgot about the hands-free microphone option in my despair.

I was about to shout Skye's name in the receiver when there was a knock on the door. I let out a sigh of relief.

I was never so glad to hear Skye's voice before.
Quickly I pulled the pillow over the diary with my teeth to protect my written thoughts and not present them on a silver platter before I called him to come in. As he opened the door and saw me lying there confined to the bed, he recoiled a little.


"Oh my god Tay, what happened?"

"Don't ask! My damn gangster brother confined me to the bed last night while I was sleeping!" I said with an annoyed shake of my head.

"Really?" His blue eyes widened at first, but then a little smile was rushing over his lips.

"What is so funny about that?" I frowned at him.

He bent down and began to unknot the scarves from my wrists.

"Tay, your brother is here to protect you, and I'm sure that's what he did."

Honestly it irritated and confused me that Skye was defending him that much, sure he told me that Zac saved him from a brutal aussault, but this here was different. Zac obviously hated me because I moved away years ago...

"Are you kidding me Skye? You call this "protection"?? My wrists are bound; I couldn't even go to the fucking bathroom." I was still mad and I wasn't sure if I could even think about it from this point of view. There is no existing reason why he might want to protect me when everything that he showed was hatred towards me...

Skye bent over to the other side to untie the second knot.

"I think he just doesn't want you to attempt suicide Tay, and he is right about that. That's why he is here Taylor, remember? Give him a chance, I don't know what happened between the two of you but I think that it is right that you have your brother around you now."

I sat up in my bed and rubbed over my strangled wrists after they were finally free again.
Honestly it was hard for me to understand why Zac came back, since he hated me that much. Sure I was thankful that he came back, but I didn't know how I would ever find a way to show him that when all that was left between us was the despise he had for me.

"I don't know if I have the strength to make this up to him..." I said to him, more calmly now.

Skye took my hand and squeezed it lightly.

"I know that you can do that Taylor. You are an intelligent guy and a peacemaker. I'm sure you will find a way to show your brother somehow. Stay optimistic Tay, like usual. Besides, you know that I'm here too."

"I know. Thank you so much Skye." I gave him a weak smile.

I wasn't in the mood for a longer discussion.

How should I be able to stay optimistic when my family was just killed?!

I had already made a final decision for myself to end my life and as much as I felt sorry for Skye, I knew that Andrew will be there for him to get over it. I just didn't want to live this life anymore.
A dead wife with an unborn child and a brother who hated me were too much for me to endure.

We were silently sitting there in thoughts, when suddenly my gangster brother appeared in the open door frame, without us noticing it at first. There was the look again. He had the same icy coldness in his eyes which made my blood freeze as he glared down at me.

"Sup Blondie, survived the night?"

It had been over
ten years since Zachary called me that. I doubted that he did it to rake up our past though; perhaps he wasn't even aware about it.

He entered without knocking of course and came into my bedroom without any invitation. I felt uncomfortable about his sudden appearance but I didn't want to voice it.
Even though he was my little brother my heart raced with fear when I looked at him. I didn't know what he was planning to do. Blade looked like someone from the streets and the many years in which we haven't seen each other had made him a total stranger to me. How could I trust him when I knew nothing about him?

Skye stood up to make room for him and he sat down at the end of my bed without saying a word.

"Why did you do that?" I asked him. To be honest, I doubted that Zac was interested in my answer on how my night went, so I didn’t bother to answer. However, he could at least tell me the reason for his actions.

Skye and I both stared at him expectantly. For me it felt like we were in totally different worlds, as if we would speak in different languages and just talk past each other.

"I need a cell phone." was his toneless answer. What is wrong with him? Why did he always ignore my questions?

"I said why the hell did you do that Blade?"

Suddenly he looked up at me; his eyes almost killed me because they were so full of anger and hate.

"Listen Taylor, if you want me to work for you properly I need a fucking cell phone. So do you have one for me or not biznitch?!?"

He barked contemptuously, his tone so icy it sent chills down my spine. Even though he already showed me twice that he didn't give a fuck about me, his anger shocked me again. I wondered if he was only here to punish me. I didn't know how I could handle that and how much more I could take of this to be honest.

Quite obviously he didn't want to be here.

But what if Skye was right that he didn't have bad intentions when he confined me to the bed?

He was so distant and cold though that I didn't even dare approach the subject of us and our past. I already sensed that all doors were locked so firmly that he wouldn't open up to me.

Right now all I felt was lost and broken, so I didn't see any sense in arguing with him. I felt hurt and sad that he obviously saw me like most people did. Like all worries were indifferent for me, just because I had money. Not even trying to look beyond the surface...

"Why don't you give him Natalie's phone Taylor?" Skye interrupted. He ignored Zac's insult once again. In a way he reminded me of myself, I knew that he was just trying to mediate between two strangers who didn't know how to deal with each other 'cause he wanted us to clarify the subject in a peaceful way. Although I didn't know how that was possible because everything Zac did was just to insult me. Sure, he had reasons to hate me.

If only he would understand...

His behavior just made it almost impossible to converse with him.

I sighed. I guess I did owe him, so I should give him a chance. As much as he seemed to hate me, he was still here after all. That's why I decided not to respond to his insult. If he got another reason to leave I would be left with the same guilt as before and I couldn't do this to him anymore.

He was still my brother, no matter what he was doing. Or perhaps Skye was right and I was just an eternal optimist.

I shifted over to Natalie's side of the bed and opened the drawer of the nightstand.

"You can have my wife's phone." I said quietly, taking Natalie's black iPhone out of it and shoved it over to him.

I had no idea why he didn't have his own phone, but it did not feel important at the moment. The phone lines in the house were still cut, so I didn't dare to counter question this time. Besides, I knew Nat wouldn't need it anymore so I guess there was no plausible reason to deny it to him.

"Do you know the number?" He asked, still in the same indifferent voice.

Was he fucking kidding me?

"It's my wife's phone."

"I know. So do you know her number?" He repeated.

Skye and I just looked at him with blank, disbelieving expressions. I wasn't sure what to think about his stupid question to be honest. I remembered Zac always had a talent to drive everyone crazy and didn't take anyone serious. Either that part of him didn't change or he was just a ruthless bastard, perhaps both of those.

Did he never grow up from that immature behavior?

"Of course I do!" I yelled angrily. I was fighting with my emotions at the moment, trying to remain calm even though I was getting angry. How dare he talk to me like that! He was such a fucking asshole!

"Good," was all he said, took the phone and shoved it into his pocket. I was mad, that's why I didn't think about the effect of my last sentence to him as he stood up.

"You are allowed to go now." I waved my hand to signal him to leave.

So you're still seeing the world through naive rose-colores glasses pampered bitch queen?!? Maybe I have to repeat myself if you're hard of understanding; NO ONE ASKED FOR YOUR FUCKING PERMISSION!" He snorted in such a disparaging and respectless way as if I had said something so very stupid that he nearly burst into a raucous masculine laughter on his way out of my bedroom which left Skye and me wide-eyed and shocked me even more.

"What the fuck was that?" I asked Skye when he was gone. Both of us let out a relieved sigh without the awkward company of my brother.

"God, he is such a bastard." I moaned and stroked the long strands of hair out of my face. My nerves raw already and I didn't know how much more I would be able to ignore and simply swallow.

Skye sat down next to me and hugged my back with his arm soothingly.

"What happened between the two of you? You've never told me why you and your brother lost contact."

As much as I trusted and loved Skye as my closest friend, I just couldn't reopen old sores. The pain of the death of my wife and my unborn child were too much for me to handle already.

"I'm sorry Skye, please don't get me wrong but I can't talk about that..."

"That's okay Taylor. I assume I don't have the right to meddle in your personal business."

I wasn't sure if he was hurt about that. Usually I told Skye everything. He was the only one who knows about me being gay. We had never talked about my past and I wasn't planning to change that. I could never talk about that to anyone again...

"Come on babe, let's get you dressed. You look like a mess." He said it in an exhilarant way as if putting on clothes was the most exciting thing in the world.

"I feel like a mess. I need a shower first."

"Okay. I'm gonna go back into your guest room and make a few calls to cancel your upcoming tourdates. Do you let me know when you're finished?"

I nodded and hugged him one more time before I let go of his hand and walked into the bathroom.

My hands were shaking silently as I reached for the knob to lock the door behind me.

previous Chapter 13                                                                                                                                                             next Chapter 15

Chapter Overview: Link

Date: 2013-11-23 06:38 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile]
omg this was awesome! LOL Blade is such a badass bastard and I love it! That he asked Taylor if he knows the number of his own wife was hilarious as hell!!!

And the pictures are perfect chosen! Hope to read more soon!

Date: 2013-11-24 04:02 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile]
thank you so much!!! ♥♥♥

Glad Blade could amuse you again! :)

Chapter 15 is now online as well. :)

Date: 2013-11-24 04:53 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile]
Blade . . . . just . . .

I hope poor Skye can get Taylor through this. He really seems at his breaking point! :'(

Date: 2013-11-25 04:01 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile]
At this point it's a extremely difficult situation for both sides, we will see what the future holds for them before they can get along.

Thank you so much for sharing your thoughts ♥♥♥

Date: 2013-11-25 01:30 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile]
I know blade wanted to keep Taylor alive, but did he have to tied him up?! Lol! He is being so rude and such an ass...poor Taylor I really feel bad for him. I hope one day they get to talk things out somehow.


Date: 2013-11-25 04:06 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile]
Thank you so much for sharing your thoughts ♥♥♥

I think at the end of Chapter 12 when Blade came into his bedroom he could see in Taylor's eyes that he has no will to life at this point anymore, so he protected him from himself before he went sleep.

There will definitely come happier days for sure, for now we will have to find a way how they can get along before they find a way to each other.

Thanks again for your constancy of reading ♥♥♥

Date: 2013-11-25 09:24 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile]
Blade is such a bastard but I love it! So ruthless and uncaring! A small part of me feels sorry for Taylor but only a small part as he seems like he's always been a diva.

Date: 2013-11-25 04:11 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile]
Yup yup we are also fans of Blade's badass bastard side LOL :)

And I totally agree with you, I think all his actions are understandable. We will try to balance it for both sides as best as we can.

Chapter 15 is now online as well.

Thank you so much for your constancy of reading ♥♥♥


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December 2015


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