And with each mile

[teamzaylor]

CHAPTER 38: CALIFUCKINFORNIA Part 1

Rating: NC-17
Genre: Zaylor / Hancest
Pairing: Zac & Taylor
About the story: Zac & Taylor's relationship broke up when they got caught kissing by the press and their career were over in a split of a second. To continue a normal life and to take a break from his brother, Taylor starts to study at a College in London but the long distance between them can't stop their feelings for each other.
Notes: Please bear with our writing, we're not from an English speaking country.



Dear reader, sorry for the delay. As we're not from an english speaking country we needed some more to time finish the new chapters. Thanks to everyone for your patience ♥ Please feel free to comment, we love to hear your thoughts and appreciate everyone's feedback!


Taylor

The past 2 years had hardened my brother. I have learned that we all have our own ways of handling difficulties. Zachary's usual way was to hide his feelings to not get hurt, while me, on the other hand, always tried to escape from reality. I believe when I think about it more intensively we were both trying to escape in our own way, Zachary to L.A. and me to London.

Our Love for each other was the only power which had consistency even in the years we were apart, the only thing we both never able to deny...

We slept until late afternoon the next day. It was strange to wake up for the first time when you realize you don't have a father anymore. And it felt even more weird that Zac's and my relationship had made a positive progress with the death of our father, as scary as it may sounds.

I decided to take a cab and visit my family after lunch, because I couldn't let my mother dealing alone with her sorrow. I had already avoided to visit my father when I had the possibility to see him and it had caused feelings of guilt in me, but to abandon the rest of my family wouldn't just be right. Probably Zac was right at that point about me that I always tried to be a good son, it was just a part of me.

I didn't ask him if he would accompany me, I already sensed that he didn't want to when he told me that he had to to drive to the car repair shop before it would close where we had to leave his car the night before. I wasn't sure if I did the right thing, I definitely wanted anything but to exclude him but I knew I couldn't force him and I didn't know how deep the wounds of the past were to him.

I actually admired the way he handled it. Zac was stronger than me, physically and emotionally. He was able to keep everything away from me. When the media, started saying bad things about me, he got most of the blame when it comes to our parents and Ike. He was younger than me, but they somehow managed to make it seemed like, I was more of a victim. I didn’t know which one was worse, being blamed by the people who didn’t know you and cared for you at all, or being blamed by the people you loved...

In all honesty I was kinda relieved that he didn't accompany me, because I hoped to have the opportunity to talk with Ike alone first about our musical future. I had absolutely no idea if he would also comply to the last death bed will of our father but I thought that talking to him in a diplomatic, peaceful way would be better than directly confronting him with Zachary's impetuous, unpredictable behaviour.

I was scared to set a foot in a house in which a family no longer existed and see that empty place at the table where my father used to sit, but I didn't want to reproach myself that I hadn't been there for my family at a time where family solidarity was actually most important. Even though I had no idea how I would be able to help my mother with funeral preperations, I just hoped that my attendance would be helpful a little and make her feel that she wasn't alone.

When I arrived at our family's house it looked different. It took a while until someone heard the doorbell and opened the door for me. It was Jessica, she carried a crying Zoe in her arms and I immediately noticed that she looked really harried.

"Hey Taylor," she greeted me shortly in a harassed manner. She turned away and walked back into the house after opening the door for me. I walked into the kitchen to look for my mother and found her completly wasted sitting on a chair at the kitchen table. The meal was simmering on the stove and she looked like she was in a completely different world. I couldn't blame her. It felt stupid to ask her how she was doing, I didn't want to make her cry again so I just sat down at the opposite side of the table, purposely avoiding to sit on our father’s chair. When she noticed me she rubbed her eyes quickly and averted her eyes.

"Hey Mam, where is Ike?" I asked softly.

"He is at the mortician's to pick out a casket" she said tonelessly.

I swallowed. It was almost morbid that they already were in funeral preperations.

"Do you know when he will be back?"

She shook her head. I studied her unobtrusive and could see dark circles around her eyes.

"Can I do anything to help you?"

She shrugged. "Ike is already a good help for me. He will stay here until the funeral is over and afterwards I will take the girls and Mackie to visit Uncle Mitch on his ranch, it's important that your younger siblings and I get a change for a few weeks. By the way when will you pick up the rest of your stuff in the garage? We need space for Dad's stuff."

Was she really asking that? Dad just passed away hours ago. I couldn't even answer her.

"When is the funeral?" I asked hesitantly.

"This Sunday at the town cemetry." She still avoided to look at me.

I gave her a frown. "But that's already in 4 days."

"Yeah I know. But why wait longer? We all knew the time would come." She shrugged unimpressed.

I was taken aback by her actions but I didn't know if I had the right to meddle in her affairs. The water in one pot was boiling and seeping out, so I stood up and walked over to the stove to put it aside.

I was surprised when she spoke to me again.

"Taylor, do you really think Zac is the right company for you?"

"What does that mean?" I winced a little when she said his name, we still hadn't talked about Zac's and my reunited relationship and I wasn't sure what she was thinking about us.

"Well I'm just saying that his violent behavior is utterly misguided. Who do you think had to pay for the chair that he smashed against the wall in the hospital? I'm not in the mood to discuss about your relationship but if he is not able to control himself, he doesn't need to come to Walker's funeral."

"What? Won't you even give him the chance to say goodbye?" I stared at her in disbelief.

To hear that she had already given up hope about Zachary hurt me.

"That's not what I've said. He just hasn't deserve my trust after the many times he lied to us. Just make sure that he won't freak out again! Because I don't really need another unexpected outburst at your father's funeral."

"You and Dad never gave him a chance to make up..."

"Taylor, I see you're apparently already influenced by him. We doesn't need to talk about him longer. I will give you the address for the meeting, before you go. It doesn't make any sense." She said coldly and stood up.

She rummaged around and set down a note on the table in front of me.

Kensington Record Labels
Jefferson Boulevard
Venice Beach
Los Angeles

LOS ANGELES!

"The meeting is in L.A.?? I thought it would be in New York...?" I asked confused.

She just shrugged impassively.

"Perhaps your Dad had forgotten to tell you. He has a colleague in L.A. who will meet you there."

I felt numb. I didn't expect that our conversation would take a disagreeable course. I wasn't even sure anymore if I could still look forward to the meeting which sounded so promising at first.

I cooked dinner for my younger siblings but I had lost my appetite. When we were sitting with our meal in the dining room all of us were quiet. We Hanson kids were rarely quiet for obvious reasons, usually we're loud like every big family, but the sudden absence of our father was something each of us felt... even my youngest sister Zoe.

When my mother finally joined us for dinner Zoe raised her head and asked in her innocent, four year old voice, "Mommy, when will Daddy back?"

I could see how my mother's face was getting more pale than I've ever seen her before and she shifted her jaw but there were no words that came out of her mouth.

"Dad is dead, he will not come back!" Mackenzie suddenly spoke chewing and Jessica smacked the back of his head because Zoe had began to cry again. I immediately stood up, took her in my arms and carried her upstairs to her room. We sat down on her bed, she didn't let go of me until her tears and sobbing had slackened and ceased. I took one of her books and read out a fairy tale to her while she snuggled in my arms and sucked at her thumb. It didn't take long until she was fallen asleep but I read out the book of the little fairy until the very last page anyway. I was almost at the end when my mother came in and game me a frown.

"Taylor you're still here?" she whispered frowning at me.

I nodded and stood up very carefully to not wake my little sister up.

"Yeah like I said before I hoped to meet Ike..." I said, covered the blanket over her little body, walked out of the room and closed the door as quiet as possible.

"Sorry, I totally forgot to tell you that I need Ike here with the funeral preperations in the following days. I can't manage that by myself, so you and Zac have to fly alone to the Meeting. You can to talk to Isaac when you are back from L.A. It's better when you drive home now. Thanks for your help, but we don't need it anymore," she said and waved her hand to me to follow her downstairs.

"Oh... okay." I responded hesitantly. I didn't expect that she would decline my offer to help but to contradict was definitely not the right reaction at this time. I had hoped that we could fly together to the Meeting like in old good times. But the death of our father had changed our life situation, I still didn't kow how to handle it. If my mother needs Ike for the funeral preperations I could certainly understand that.

Actually, I was very thankful that Ike helped her to arrange everything of Dad's funeral because if I'd be contronted with these family affairs I wouldn’t have an idea how to handle them or where to start. It was only the second time that I had an experience dealing death in my family. The first one was the death of our grandmother. She died when I was 11 and it still made my cry every time I think about her.

Isaac had become the new reliable guide of the family. It was new to me that my mother was acting cold towards me. I sensed that she was still disappointed about my break from college and the fact that Zac and I were together again. It hurt me but how could I expect understanding from everyone in my family about our relationship... especially in a situation like this? Maybe even after this, still they wouldn’t understand. Probably, they wouldn’t even try to understand. I looked at my mom and I wondered how much she hated the fact that two of her sons were also lovers...

My trail of thoughts was interrupted when I heard my mother talked to Jessica after we walked downstairs, she told her that she should drive me back to Zac's apartment. Jessica got her driver's license only a few weeks ago and didn't miss any possibility to show her achieved skills.

So I found myself shortly afterwards sitting in Jessi's car after a short farewell from my mother and a suitcase with some of my clothes from the garage. We didn't talk a lot and I didn't know what to say to make anything better. I got surprised when we arrived and she suddenly turned to me and laid her hand on my shoulder.

"Taylor, wait. I... I just wanted to say that you shouldn't worry too much about what Mam said about your and Zac's relationship. She's just got a lot on her mind right now."

I frowned at her.

"Are you serious?"

She nodded affirmatively.

"I actually think you're a cute couple," she gave me a sincere smile. Her words touched me and made me feel a little better. I hugged her and thanked her for driving me home before I went out of the car and waved goodbye to her.

I found Zachary sleeping on his big blue couch in the living room, his game controller lying on his stomach and slices of pizza on two plates were on the table. I felt bad that he had obviously waited for me. He looked cute and peaceful while he was sleeping but you shouldn't deceive yourself with his angelic appearance. I knew his varying moods.

I sat down next to him, grabbing a piece of pizza. I chewed on the cold dough and stared at the TV, forcing myself to watch pointless commercials because everything else seemed much better than to think. I felt tired about the things my mother said to me this afternoon and felt the urge to crawl myself in a roll and sulk until the world would look finally better again.

I don't remember anymore how I long I sat there until I crawled next to my brother and wrapped his arm around my waist for comfort. Feeling him laying next to me in his protecting arms always gave me inner peace and it didn't take much time until I also fell asleep...

"Hey Sleeping Beauty, time to wake up!" were the first words I heard early next morning.

No. I didn't want to. I didn't want to hear a word about fucking L.A., so I covered the blanket over my head in an attempt to exclude everything which caused worries and fear in my stomach...

I could feel how he was sitting down next to me, grabbing the blankets roughly and tossing them away somewhere in a corner so that I couldn't reach them.

"You can't hide your pretty ass the entire day!" He said more impatiently.

I moaned in annoyance of the sudden coldness and the glare light.

"Why not?" Reality is stupid and cruel!

"Come on Taylor, I've already packed your stuff."

What did he say? I blinked drowsily at him.

"What stuff?"

"To L.A. sleepyhead!"

I felt how my stomach lurched. How did he know?

I rubbed my sleepy eyes with the back of my hand and looked around. The note that my mother gave me yesterday was still lying on the table with the address of our L.A. meeting.

Zac must have read it. And of course he was delighted by the fact that the meeting would take place in L.A., I could see it in the look of his eyes and he was already acting overzealous.

"Well, we have to book our flight tickets at first, right?" I asked. I didn't know why I tried to play for time, I really didn't have a good feeling about Los Angeles.

"We can buy them at the airport," he stated resolutely. Fucking great. Another Zac Hanson style journey. I remembered what my mother had told me about Zac yesterday, but at least he was honest with me and I hold the view that he deserved my trust since our serious debate two days ago. Besides to that, who else would trust him if I didn't?

"What about a hotel reservation..?" I asked.

He laughed. "Taylor, it is L.A. we don't need a hotel there. I know enough people who can give us a room for a couple of days."

Wonderful. We're going to crash at some fucking twinks place. It was hard to hold my foaming up anger back. I was caught between the devil and the deep blue sea. I really didn't want to start a new fight with him. I knew it would prove my jeaolusy and distrust. The meeting was important to both of us to our future, so I tried to focus on that fact, even though it was anything else than easy.

But if we will really get a chance to fix our broken carreer again we would be away on business very often anyway, so this trip actually shouldn't make a difference...

"Ike will not come with us," I told him when we were about to leave. Zac set my suitcase aside irritably and sighed. "Why didn't you fucking tell me Taylor?"

"I haven't had a chance to talk with him yesterday. Mom said that she will need him for... you know... Dad's funeral preperations."

He silenced for a minute. I could sense the rarefied air and was worried of how his reaction would be. He had the ability to intimidate with his bossy presence and I didn't know what to do about it.

"We can talk with him when we're back..." I began and took my suitcase as if it would clear the air.

I wasn't in the mood to answer more questions, Califuckinfornia had already evoked negative connototations in my mind.

"Well, if he's not available I guess we can't change it," was all he said. I couldn't tell if there was an undertone of peevishness in his voice or if he just accepted the news. He was unreadable to me like most times.

But Zac Hanson wouldn't be Zac Hanson if he didn't do something completely unexpected again. With firmness he turned to me and pulled the suitcase harshly out of my hand.

"Leave it to me. That's my job!" He said decidedly, so I assumed that at least he wasn't be mad at me.

Anyway, I wasn't in the mood for another discussion.

"Come on, let's go!" he commanded in a bossy tone and so we started our way straight ahead to the front door again.

Califuckinfornia here we come.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

Comments

[matrix-hack.livejournal.com]

Hi, I can't wait for you to add the next chapie, I'm so glad you're doing this job...specially because bottom taylor fics are very rare in this community and I think it's sexier that way. So far, all the fics you've uploaded here are my favorites of all times!

[teamzaylor.livejournal.com]

Hiya thank you so much for your amazing compliment!!! ♥♥♥ Can't agree with you more, we also find it much sexier that way and Zac deserves more attention in fanfics as well, that's why we decided to put focus on dominant/slutty Zac :)

The next chapter is 70% finished, Hanson in Jamaica has let us fall behind the schedule. We're pleased that you're waiting for what happens next and we will post the next chapter as soon as possible.

Thanks for your patience :)

[teamzaylor.livejournal.com]

sorry for the delay, I just updated two new chapters. Thanks so much for your waiting ♥♥ :)