And with each mile
Dec. 5th, 2012 01:14 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
teamzaylorCHAPTER 28: SUCK
Rating: NC-17
Genre: Zaylor / Hancest
Pairing: Zac & Taylor
Credits & many Thanks to: Honor @beyondthethorns
About the story: Zac & Taylor's relationship broke up when they got caught kissing by the press and their career were over in a split of a second. To continue a normal life and to take a break from his brother, Taylor starts to study at a College in London but the long distance between them can't stop their feelings for each other.
Heh, the title of the chapter pretty much says it all. While I would consider this chapter to be very sexual and inappropriate for the eyes of minors, reverends or grandmas, it is really nothing too extreme. You'll see as you read it. :)
Zac laid a kiss right under my belly button and mumbled dazedly against my skin, “Lights off are overrated. I like to look at you…”
I nodded slowly and forced myself to believe him. He LIKES how you look, Tay. Just relax.
Zac put his fingers on the top of my pants and made steady eye contact with me as he unbuttoned the top of my jeans. I wanted him so badly but I was self conscious about showing it. I wanted to reach down and tear my jeans off myself, but instead I bravely looked back into his eyes and nodded a bit to give him reassurance. He could take my pants off. Even Zachary needs reassurance sometimes…
He unzipped my pants and then worked to pull them off me and kiss along the top of my boxers at the same time. His tongue slid out his mouth in between kisses and gently caressed my pale skin, only to disappear just as I was really enjoying it.
I wiggled at bit to get my jeans off, trying not to kick or anything in fear that I might hurt him. He was basically straddling me, after all, and the last thing I wanted was to nail him in the balls at a moment like that. Not an arousing thought, no, but it’s what I was thinking.
“Tell me if you want me to stop anything I’m doing…” Zachary almost whispered and I had to admit, his concern was a big turn on. I loved how he treated me most of the time. I loved knowing he didn’t treat everyone nearly as good. Is that unfair of me to love that? Is it selfish?
“I don’t want you to stop…” I mumbled and closed my eyes when I felt his hand dig into the opening in my boxers. I took a short gasp of air when he wrapped his fingers around my dick and gripped the blankets under me in my fists.
Zachary leaned up over me again a bit and laid a kiss on my chin as he began pumping my already rock hard cock in his fist. “I’ve wanted to touch you for so long…”
I moaned gently.
“Sometimes I used to get scared we would never get to do this again… I’m having trouble believing we’re really here… that this is really happening,” Zac mumbled, resting his lips on the damp skin on my chest.
I had also forgotten how much Zachary liked to talk when we made out. I was usually too caught up in it all to talk, and when I did it was usually nervous statements that I made to fill awkward gaps of silence. Zac always said what he wanted to say because it made the experience better for him. I wanted to be more like that.
When Zac’s pumping stopped and I felt his hand let go of me, I opened my eyes to see that he had pulled his hands out of my boxers and he was slowly shimmying them off my hips.
I was nervous sort of, but thank God for rum. Either it was the alcohol or it was Zachary’s soothing presence, but I felt more excited and lustful than I felt nervous. I WANTED him to touch me. I NEEDED him to. I had let myself forget for the past two years just how much I was craving his touch. It was all coming back to me at once and I couldn’t wait a single minute more. I think that is the moment I really began to enjoy the whole thing- the moment that it hit me. I wanted Zac just as badly as he wanted me even though he was the only one who showed it.
I wasn’t even nervous any longer being completely naked in front of him. It was Zachary. It didn’t matter that he was younger, different and more experienced. He was still my brother who I’d always loved, and loved even more than I had years before.
Zachary placed one hand at the base of my penis and then leaned in and licked the head of it. His warm tongue against my burning cock was an indescribable sensation. Amazing. Inconceivable. It was like the most satisfying pain I’ve had in my entire life. I wanted him to take all of me in his mouth at once because I wasn’t sure how much longer I could last, but at the same time I wanted him to take his time so I could savor every minute.
He wrapped his lips around the head of my dick and sucked. Immediately my hips bucked towards him and I ran my fingers through his hair, trying not to lose myself in the pleasure and unload in his mouth before I could even enjoy it.
Zac slid my dick into his mouth more and more with each bob of his head. Pretty soon my cock was sliding farther back into his mouth than I could ever imagine, and it wasn’t until the next morning that his talent impressed me.
He was much more talented than he was years before. While he moved his hot mouth up and down along my length, he simultaneously kneaded my balls in his hand. It was almost too perfect, but at the time I didn’t think about that. I was just in pure ecstasy.
I moaned a throaty “Zachary” at one point and was almost taken back by how vocal it was of me. Zac had told me once that he liked when I made a lot of noise because it let him know I was enjoying it and that the biggest turn on for him, but still I had always been self conscious. Upon hearing that though Zachary moaned around my cock as well and took me deeper into his mouth. I suddenly felt more comfortable making whatever sounds of pleasure I wanted to make. In fact, I was pushing myself to the edge just hearing how amazing he could make me feel.
“Zaccy… I think I’m going to…” I began to squeak, reverting back to my childhood ways of always warning him anytime I was going to come. He looked up and made eye contact with me, staring at me while he sucked me off and fuck… it was hot. Closing my eyes and feeling it was one thing. Feeling it and watching it was a completely different experience.
I wasn’t sure if he’d want to move away. When we were young, he always did. Never swallowed. But clearly things had changed because as I came in his mouth, moaning intensely and bucking my hips forward, he swallowed everything. Not only that, but he somehow managed to swallow while continuing to suck my cock at the same time, something I didn’t think possible but he made it possible. When he was sure I was done, he pulled away and crawled up next to me, wiping his mouth with the back of his hand and laying on his side next to me. I was still on my back winded and recovering.
“Thank you…” I finally uttered.
He smiled casually. “I hate it when you thank me.” He said it as if it was something we did everyday. He was right though, when we were young he’d always told me not to thank him. It was his pleasure, literally, he used to tell me. Formalities were awkward, he’d say.
I turned onto my side to face him, painfully aware and unaware all at once that I was naked in front of him- sweaty and sticky- and he well, wasn’t. I glanced down to notice his large hard-on poking through his boxers that he wasn’t exactly trying to advertise, but he wasn’t trying to hide either.
“I was right,” he smirked.
“Huh?”
“You are bigger.”
I blushed profusely which only caused him to grin in response. He leaned in and gave me a quick peck on lips.
“It’s nothing to be embarrassed of,” he shrugged. “It’s good… great, even.”
“I know,” I mumbled and then began to look awkwardly for my boxers. I was feeling cold… I reasoned. I grabbed them off the bottom of the bed and yanked them on. While I was doing this, Zachary must have stood up because when I laid back down expecting to share my pillow with his head again, he wasn’t there. He was standing up next to the bed.
“Where are you going?” I frowned.
He pointed his thumb over his shoulder and gestured at the bathroom. “You know…”
I’m dense. No. I did not know.
Zac stumbled a little, gripping the wall for balance. I had completely forgotten that he was still pretty druink- much drunker than me. In fact, I think my senses had peaked since Zachary had gone down on me. Actually, I didn’t really feel drunk anymore at all.
“Why are you going to the bathroom!?” I said much too loudly and worriedly. Okay. Maybe I was still a bit tipsy.
Zachary frowned at me now. “I…” He glanced down at his erection and blushed. “You know.”
Fuck, wait! Was he honestly going to go in there and rub it out on his own? Did he really think I was selfish enough to take from him but offer nothing in return? Of course, I had no clue how to give oral sex as it had been years since I’d attempted it. But still, I wasn’t going to fucking try my hardest for what he had just done for me. I WANTED to pleasure him, in fact.
“Zachary…” I patted the spot on the bed next to me. “Don’t do that. I’m not going to… let you do that.”
He gave me a sheepish look and shuffled back over to the bed, crawling onto it and sitting next to me again. “I just figured you wouldn’t be comfortable with…”
I shook my head and held my finger up to his lips. I liked being in control for a moment. He silenced and gave me an amused smile.
“I’m comfortable with YOU. Okay? Even if I act nervous sometimes, I’m not.” Okay, let’s say that’s lie number five. I was nervous. But he didn’t need to know that. “Anyway… I’m definitely not done with you yet…”
He slid down so he was lying again next to me. “Well good…” he said and then his mouth curled into a smile. “Because I was hoping you weren’t, actually…”
We both turned onto our sides at the same time so we were facing each other and slid closer together again to resume our position earlier. I brushed my lips against his and our knees knocked together in an exciting but almost clumsy way. Zac moved a few more inches closer to me so our bodies were pressed together and I couldn’t help but notice the way he began to grind his hips into mine again, staring right into my eyes intensely the entire time- his lips bright and wet- pursed.
“Remember…” he smiled, squeezing his eyes closed in a happy way and chuckling, “Remember four years ago… that one night.”
“There were a lot of nights, Zac…” I glanced down at his bare chest and reached out to rub his nipples with the tips of my fingers. I let them graze along his chest before I brushed the ends of my fingers against them. When I did, he took a small breath in and pressed his hips into my more forcefully. I could feel myself beginning to grow hard again just from feeling his erection.
“I’m talking about that one night though… I had just turned 14. I walked in on you in our room and you were jerking off in my bed… remember?”
I blushed deeply and pulled my fingers away from his chest. Of course I remembered. It was humiliating. Zachary had supposedly gone to a friends house that night but I guess he had decided to go home early. I was lying in his bed because it was more comfortable than my own and just smelling his cologne on the sheets had caused me to start touching myself… and once I had touched myself thinking of him, there was no going back. I basically had no other option but to jerk myself in his sheets. I was going to grab some tissues when I was getting close. I had no idea he was going to come home early.
I remember his expression like it was just yesterday. He had one eyebrow raised and his lip curled. He was slightly confused, slightly amused, mostly turned on.
“You wanted me to catch you, didn’t you?” he asked me, standing there in the middle of his room with his arms folded at his chest.
“I had no clue you were going to be home already Zac..”
Zac had smirked. Looking at me sitting there with a huge erection and ruddy cheeks was new to him... this had never happened before. “I still think you wanted to get caught.”
“No…”
“Well, caught ya anyway,” he gave me a warm smile and sat down next to me on the bed. Then his smile faded and looked at me seriously, locking eyes and saying quietly, “You don’t have to stop… in fact. I insist that you don’t.”
“You could take over…”
He shook his head. “You got yourself into this Taylor Hanson, now I want to watch you get yourself out.”
He later told me that had been one of the hottest things he had ever seen- me touching myself. You want to know what? It was one of the hottest things for me as well. There was something so utterly wrong and thrilling about jerking off while he watched.
Zac chuckled as he was laying there next to me and I snapped out of the memory. “You were so scared when I walked into the room….”
I blushed as if it had happened just yesterday. “That was cruel of you to force me to finish in front of you…” I couldn’t help but smile as I said it.
Zachary wrapped his arm around me tightly so it that his hand ended up on my ass. He used his arm to pull me closer to him so the friction between our dicks was even more intense. “Mmm… I always said I’d pay you back- let you watch me sometime. I never got a chance to.”
We were quiet for a moment, maybe taking a moment of silence for the paparazzi photographs that had thrown our entire lives off kilter. Maybe we just didn’t know what to say.
“Well, then pay me back now.”
He paused the rotation of his hips for a moment to think. When he had thought about it, he grinded into me again and grabbed at my ass lightly enough for it to be gentle, but hard enough for me to definitely notice it. “I could…”
I raised an eyebrow at him.
“Although…” he began, “You did say that YOU weren’t done with me.”
“This is true. You begin, and I’ll take over when I’m ready.” I was surprised by my own confidence. I was commanding the situation. I knew what I wanted and I was intent on getting it. It felt good to tell him what we were going to do for once.
Zac smiled a little, bit his lip to keep from smiling too much, and backed away from me a bit. It was this kind of kinky stuff that he loved- I knew it. Maybe it wasn’t kinky- but it was different. Exciting. And if he liked it, then I was sure I would like it too. Watching Zachary touch himself was something I most certainly would not turn down.
At first Zac just reached into his boxers like he had with mine, but he paused and apparently decided to take them off completely. In fact, he felt so inclined to not only take them off, but to whip them dramatically across the room.
“We don’t need those anymore…” he mumbled.
I looked down at his erect penis for the first time in two years really, and holy fuck… was it really that beautiful? It was perfect. My own dick must have grown an inch just looking at it and Zachary most certainly was right about himself too; he had gotten bigger.
He quickly took his cock in his hand and began to pump it much similar to how he had with mine- only he was quicker, harder, and less careful when he was jerking himself off. His eyes closed instinctively and he moaned loudly in pleasure- much more loudly than I ever felt comfortable.
But it was so fucking hot listening to him. His breathing became short, heavy gasps of air as he rolled over onto his back and dropped his head back against the pillow. He didn’t seem at all hesitant doing it in front of me, but I guess that’s what comes with his kind of lifestyle. He had probably done things ten million times more awkward. Plus, he was still quite plastered and probably didn’t really care what I was thinking at the moment. It felt good to him, and that’s all that mattered.
“I hope you’re enjoying this,” he groaned at one point, his lips curling into a smile again. “Because I know I am…”
His voice was thick and raspy, almost as if it was stuck deep in his throat and just barely making it out.
“I am…” I admitted and reached down to rub my own dick through the cloth of my boxers. I hoped he didn’t open his eyes and see me, although I really shouldn’t have cared at that point considering what I was watching.
Zac didn’t hold back at all, and it was entirely sexy to see that. He squeezed his eyes closed tightly, parted his lips, and hoarsely grunted with each jerk of his hand. At one point he used one hand to pump his penis and he took his other hand and brought it to the head. He pressed his palm against the head and rubbed it in slow, smooth circles.
After awhile when I was completely hard all over again from watching him, his eyes became two slits and he glanced over at me. “You want to…?”
I nodded, but I didn’t. Lie number six. I mean you have to understand, I did and I didn’t. God… I wanted to wrap my lips around his cock just how he had with mine and suck him dry. I wanted to give him exactly what he had given me. I wanted to please him. But I was so scared. I didn’t remember how and was I supposed to swallow too? I had never swallowed before. Oh god…
“Yes or no…” he said impatiently but gently, slowing down his hand dramatically. “Because… I’m feeling pretty close, Tay…”
I nodded and got up from my spot next to him and crawled down to the bottom of the bed. He opened his eyes and propped his head up against the pillow a bit to watch me. Yes, he was going to watch me. Everything I did. He too apparently knew what a turn it was to watch someone go down on you.
I crawled on top of his legs so I was straddling him like he had for me and looked up at him. He was waiting with a small smile- eagerly but patiently.
I glanced down at his overwhelming penis and took a deep breath. I wanted it. He wanted it. Tay, it’s now or never, I told myself. I gripped the base of his dick in my hand to feel a little bit more in control and lowered my mouth to it. I tried to remember what he had done to me just moments before, but it was really one blur of pleasure. I couldn’t remember details or specifics.
When I hesitated, he whispered, “Suck me, Tay… please,” a censored version of what was probably his typical dirty talk during sex.
I didn’t need another prompt. I just wrapped my lips around the head of his dick and sucked at the end- trying to imagine what would feel good to me and doing it to him. Honestly, I couldn’t really tell if I was doing a good job or not, but he seemed really content so I was just kept doing what I was doing.
Then I got a little too adventurous. I was only trying to please him, but I moved my mouth down along his shaft, taking as much of him into my mouth as I could. I took too much and I didn’t know how to do it. Suddenly I was practically gagging and coughing, pulling away from him and trying to recover. Fortunately, I was so busy recovering from my gag reflex that it took me a moment to realize how humiliating and horrible that had been. When it did hit me, my eyes went wide and I looked at Zac in horror.
He was smiling gently and looking over at me.
“It’s okay…” he said in the softest, sweetest voice I could have ever imagined. It almost made it not so humiliating. Not quite.
I felt like I could practically cry. I had been doing so good! I had been so brave and bold and daring, and then I had gagged?! I had gagged to the point that I was coughing and clutching my throat. Oh god, he must have thought I was a complete joke.
I gave him a really upset look with my eyes and looked down at the bed, shaking my head. I was mortified.
“Baby…” came that same voice. He chuckled, “It’s okay. Really. Come here and lay with me.”
I didn’t I want to though. I wanted to walk far away. Suddenly my own erection was no longer so… erect, that is, and even looking at Zac’s naked body didn’t turn me on.
He reached down and grabbed my arm, dragging me towards him, reluctantly lying down next to him on my stomach, hiding my face in a pillow.
“Oh stop,” he smiled. “I don’t care.”
“I do…” I mumbled miserably.
“Well, then you better pull yourself together. Because you said you’d finish me off, and I’m holding you to it.”
I looked up at him incredulously, turning onto my side to face him. Was he joking? Had he just seen what had happened? How was I supposed to finish him off when I couldn’t even go down on him without gagging!
“Not like that…” he half-spoke, half-whispered. He took my wrist and guided my hand down to his still erect dick. “I just like it when you touch me, Tay… please don’t leave me hanging.”
Even though I wanted to crawl into a ball and hide and pity myself for what I a fool I had proved to be, I knew I couldn’t. I wasn’t going to be a coward. Okay, so I had fucked up. Zachary wasn’t going to hold it against me for forever. He had just put so much effort into making me feel good… I needed to pull it together and do the same for him, however I could. After my little internal pep talk, I took a deep breath and ran my fingers down his cock. I rubbed my hand against the head of it until my hand was lubricated and I could pump my hand up and down his length easier. Zac reached over and held onto my other arm with his hand and closed his eyes again. I was no longer enjoying the whole thing like I was earlier and I just wanted to it to end, so I’d be lying if I were to tell you that I wasn’t relieved when he came a minute or so later.
I can tell you this much without having to even ask him: it was not the best foreplay of his life. In fact, it was probably some of the worst. But he didn’t seem to care. He just rolled over onto his side and gave me a sloppy grin.
“I’m not going to thank you because that would make me a hypocrite, but thank you.”
I nodded solemnly.
“Taylor…” he said, tilting his head at me and giving me a quirky smile. “Don’t act like this. It’s not a big deal…”
“Do we have to talk about this?” I snapped at him. I felt bad. I was being selfish but who could blame me? I was humiliated and I wasn’t thinking straight.
Zac nodded slowly. “Okay… we don’t have to talk about it… but I want you to know that I found that incredibly hot, besides the fact that you probably don’t believe me.”
He was right. I didn’t. I counted it as the 7th lie of the night, even if I wasn’t the one lying.
“I always find you incredibly hot,” he smiled, reaching towards me and pulling me in for a hug. I wanted to resist, but his naked body felt so good against my skin that I couldn’t seem to pull away.
I wanted to be angry, to be hostile, to continue my little pity parade, but instead I just sighed into his body and wrapped my arms around him.
“I’m sorry…” I whispered.
He rubbed my back gently “When I tell you it’s okay, trust me. It’s okay. I’m not saying that to make you feel better.”
“I feel so stupid…”
“Tay,” he chuckled. “That’s not as rare as you think. In fact, it’s happened to me before myself.”
I pulled away from our hug so I could see his eyes to see if he was telling the truth. “Really?”
He smirked and settled down on the bed on his back, naked and not caring at all. “Well, no. It’s never happened to me before, but I’ve been with guys who’ve accidentally done that too.”
I paused. Wait for it.. wait for it…
“I guess my cock is just too much for some guys to handle.”
Oh, I am too good. Or Zachary is too predictable. How did I know he was going to say that?
I sighed heavily and settled down on my back too. I put my hands behind my head and closed my eyes. “I really do feel really stupid though…”
“You want to know the truth?” He was smiling. I could hear it his voice.
“Okay.” Did I?
“You might think this is stupid… but it’s actually kind of a turn on. You know how you hear gay guys always talking about hot twinks?”
Since I never really considered myself a gay guy because I wasn’t active at all in the gay community, I never really tried to figure out the lingo and terms that went along with my sexuality. However I knew the term twink because people had referred to me as one a lot. Young, gay male.
“Well,” Zac continued. “When I lived out in LA, people would always point out twinks in bars and say that they bet he’d be really fun in bed. And you want to know the truth? Do you want to know what really fun in bed meant?”
“Hm?”
“Inexperienced. It might sound stupid, but innocence is a turn on, Taylor. Big time. You’re my own little twink,” he smirked.
I couldn’t help but smile at this comment. I opened my eyes to see him laying there smiling to himself. He was running his eyes up and down my body.
“Can I ask you an honest question?” he finally said when his smile faded.
“Okay.”
“Be honest with me… have you done anything with anyone but me?”
I swallowed. Why was he asking? I thought I had done such a good job all day of convincing him that yes, I had. Yes his dick was big in comparison. Yes I had given head before despite the fact that I had fucked up so miserably with him. I was tempted to lie, but I figured I’d told enough lies for one day.
“No,” I mumbled quietly and shook my head slowly. It felt like my first honest answer of the night.
Zachary smiled and reached up to my hands that were behind my head and squeezed one of them affectionately. “Good. I like knowing you’re all mine.”
He always knew the perfect thing to say when he tried. He could make me feel better no matter how shitty I was feeling. I swear, he was like magic. He was exactly what I needed when I needed it. I liked knowing he was all mine. I was really lucky.
Zac rolled onto his side and pressed his body against mine, giving me a firm, sweet kiss. “I don’t know about you, but I’m not even close to being ready to go to bed... IF, you know what I mean.”
I looked down at him wiggling his eyebrows at me mischievously and laughed out loud. I loved him. God, I loved him. How had I gone so long without him? It was really sick how much I thought about how much I loved him.
“Are you ever not horny?” I laughed at him, giving him a similar simple kiss.
He paused for a second to think about. “I don’t think so,” he finally admitted before grinning and smothering my mouth again with one of his intoxicating kisses. And we were off…
***
When I rolled awake the next morning, groggy and in desperate need of a shower, I reached over to rub Zachary’s back. In the past few days I had grown so attached to having him sleep next to me. It’s like I didn’t even remember what it was like to sleep alone. Instead of feeling his warm strong arms, I felt nothing but the mattress.
I opened my eyes and frowned at the vacant spot next to me. But everything had gone so well… I had fallen asleep in his arms… he had kissed my forehead and told me he kissed me. Everything had been so perfect and now he had left me? I looked around. His ipod was missing from the counter. His suitcase wasn’t where he left it. Where was his cell phone, his travel alarm clock, his portable game console, the wad of Spanish money he left on the nightstand…?
Fuck… not again.
Rating: NC-17
Genre: Zaylor / Hancest
Pairing: Zac & Taylor
Credits & many Thanks to: Honor @beyondthethorns
About the story: Zac & Taylor's relationship broke up when they got caught kissing by the press and their career were over in a split of a second. To continue a normal life and to take a break from his brother, Taylor starts to study at a College in London but the long distance between them can't stop their feelings for each other.
Heh, the title of the chapter pretty much says it all. While I would consider this chapter to be very sexual and inappropriate for the eyes of minors, reverends or grandmas, it is really nothing too extreme. You'll see as you read it. :)
Zac laid a kiss right under my belly button and mumbled dazedly against my skin, “Lights off are overrated. I like to look at you…”
I nodded slowly and forced myself to believe him. He LIKES how you look, Tay. Just relax.
Zac put his fingers on the top of my pants and made steady eye contact with me as he unbuttoned the top of my jeans. I wanted him so badly but I was self conscious about showing it. I wanted to reach down and tear my jeans off myself, but instead I bravely looked back into his eyes and nodded a bit to give him reassurance. He could take my pants off. Even Zachary needs reassurance sometimes…
He unzipped my pants and then worked to pull them off me and kiss along the top of my boxers at the same time. His tongue slid out his mouth in between kisses and gently caressed my pale skin, only to disappear just as I was really enjoying it.
I wiggled at bit to get my jeans off, trying not to kick or anything in fear that I might hurt him. He was basically straddling me, after all, and the last thing I wanted was to nail him in the balls at a moment like that. Not an arousing thought, no, but it’s what I was thinking.
“Tell me if you want me to stop anything I’m doing…” Zachary almost whispered and I had to admit, his concern was a big turn on. I loved how he treated me most of the time. I loved knowing he didn’t treat everyone nearly as good. Is that unfair of me to love that? Is it selfish?
“I don’t want you to stop…” I mumbled and closed my eyes when I felt his hand dig into the opening in my boxers. I took a short gasp of air when he wrapped his fingers around my dick and gripped the blankets under me in my fists.
Zachary leaned up over me again a bit and laid a kiss on my chin as he began pumping my already rock hard cock in his fist. “I’ve wanted to touch you for so long…”
I moaned gently.
“Sometimes I used to get scared we would never get to do this again… I’m having trouble believing we’re really here… that this is really happening,” Zac mumbled, resting his lips on the damp skin on my chest.
I had also forgotten how much Zachary liked to talk when we made out. I was usually too caught up in it all to talk, and when I did it was usually nervous statements that I made to fill awkward gaps of silence. Zac always said what he wanted to say because it made the experience better for him. I wanted to be more like that.
When Zac’s pumping stopped and I felt his hand let go of me, I opened my eyes to see that he had pulled his hands out of my boxers and he was slowly shimmying them off my hips.
I was nervous sort of, but thank God for rum. Either it was the alcohol or it was Zachary’s soothing presence, but I felt more excited and lustful than I felt nervous. I WANTED him to touch me. I NEEDED him to. I had let myself forget for the past two years just how much I was craving his touch. It was all coming back to me at once and I couldn’t wait a single minute more. I think that is the moment I really began to enjoy the whole thing- the moment that it hit me. I wanted Zac just as badly as he wanted me even though he was the only one who showed it.
I wasn’t even nervous any longer being completely naked in front of him. It was Zachary. It didn’t matter that he was younger, different and more experienced. He was still my brother who I’d always loved, and loved even more than I had years before.
Zachary placed one hand at the base of my penis and then leaned in and licked the head of it. His warm tongue against my burning cock was an indescribable sensation. Amazing. Inconceivable. It was like the most satisfying pain I’ve had in my entire life. I wanted him to take all of me in his mouth at once because I wasn’t sure how much longer I could last, but at the same time I wanted him to take his time so I could savor every minute.
He wrapped his lips around the head of my dick and sucked. Immediately my hips bucked towards him and I ran my fingers through his hair, trying not to lose myself in the pleasure and unload in his mouth before I could even enjoy it.
Zac slid my dick into his mouth more and more with each bob of his head. Pretty soon my cock was sliding farther back into his mouth than I could ever imagine, and it wasn’t until the next morning that his talent impressed me.
He was much more talented than he was years before. While he moved his hot mouth up and down along my length, he simultaneously kneaded my balls in his hand. It was almost too perfect, but at the time I didn’t think about that. I was just in pure ecstasy.
I moaned a throaty “Zachary” at one point and was almost taken back by how vocal it was of me. Zac had told me once that he liked when I made a lot of noise because it let him know I was enjoying it and that the biggest turn on for him, but still I had always been self conscious. Upon hearing that though Zachary moaned around my cock as well and took me deeper into his mouth. I suddenly felt more comfortable making whatever sounds of pleasure I wanted to make. In fact, I was pushing myself to the edge just hearing how amazing he could make me feel.
“Zaccy… I think I’m going to…” I began to squeak, reverting back to my childhood ways of always warning him anytime I was going to come. He looked up and made eye contact with me, staring at me while he sucked me off and fuck… it was hot. Closing my eyes and feeling it was one thing. Feeling it and watching it was a completely different experience.
I wasn’t sure if he’d want to move away. When we were young, he always did. Never swallowed. But clearly things had changed because as I came in his mouth, moaning intensely and bucking my hips forward, he swallowed everything. Not only that, but he somehow managed to swallow while continuing to suck my cock at the same time, something I didn’t think possible but he made it possible. When he was sure I was done, he pulled away and crawled up next to me, wiping his mouth with the back of his hand and laying on his side next to me. I was still on my back winded and recovering.
“Thank you…” I finally uttered.
He smiled casually. “I hate it when you thank me.” He said it as if it was something we did everyday. He was right though, when we were young he’d always told me not to thank him. It was his pleasure, literally, he used to tell me. Formalities were awkward, he’d say.
I turned onto my side to face him, painfully aware and unaware all at once that I was naked in front of him- sweaty and sticky- and he well, wasn’t. I glanced down to notice his large hard-on poking through his boxers that he wasn’t exactly trying to advertise, but he wasn’t trying to hide either.
“I was right,” he smirked.
“Huh?”
“You are bigger.”
I blushed profusely which only caused him to grin in response. He leaned in and gave me a quick peck on lips.
“It’s nothing to be embarrassed of,” he shrugged. “It’s good… great, even.”
“I know,” I mumbled and then began to look awkwardly for my boxers. I was feeling cold… I reasoned. I grabbed them off the bottom of the bed and yanked them on. While I was doing this, Zachary must have stood up because when I laid back down expecting to share my pillow with his head again, he wasn’t there. He was standing up next to the bed.
“Where are you going?” I frowned.
He pointed his thumb over his shoulder and gestured at the bathroom. “You know…”
I’m dense. No. I did not know.
Zac stumbled a little, gripping the wall for balance. I had completely forgotten that he was still pretty druink- much drunker than me. In fact, I think my senses had peaked since Zachary had gone down on me. Actually, I didn’t really feel drunk anymore at all.
“Why are you going to the bathroom!?” I said much too loudly and worriedly. Okay. Maybe I was still a bit tipsy.
Zachary frowned at me now. “I…” He glanced down at his erection and blushed. “You know.”
Fuck, wait! Was he honestly going to go in there and rub it out on his own? Did he really think I was selfish enough to take from him but offer nothing in return? Of course, I had no clue how to give oral sex as it had been years since I’d attempted it. But still, I wasn’t going to fucking try my hardest for what he had just done for me. I WANTED to pleasure him, in fact.
“Zachary…” I patted the spot on the bed next to me. “Don’t do that. I’m not going to… let you do that.”
He gave me a sheepish look and shuffled back over to the bed, crawling onto it and sitting next to me again. “I just figured you wouldn’t be comfortable with…”
I shook my head and held my finger up to his lips. I liked being in control for a moment. He silenced and gave me an amused smile.
“I’m comfortable with YOU. Okay? Even if I act nervous sometimes, I’m not.” Okay, let’s say that’s lie number five. I was nervous. But he didn’t need to know that. “Anyway… I’m definitely not done with you yet…”
He slid down so he was lying again next to me. “Well good…” he said and then his mouth curled into a smile. “Because I was hoping you weren’t, actually…”
We both turned onto our sides at the same time so we were facing each other and slid closer together again to resume our position earlier. I brushed my lips against his and our knees knocked together in an exciting but almost clumsy way. Zac moved a few more inches closer to me so our bodies were pressed together and I couldn’t help but notice the way he began to grind his hips into mine again, staring right into my eyes intensely the entire time- his lips bright and wet- pursed.
“Remember…” he smiled, squeezing his eyes closed in a happy way and chuckling, “Remember four years ago… that one night.”
“There were a lot of nights, Zac…” I glanced down at his bare chest and reached out to rub his nipples with the tips of my fingers. I let them graze along his chest before I brushed the ends of my fingers against them. When I did, he took a small breath in and pressed his hips into my more forcefully. I could feel myself beginning to grow hard again just from feeling his erection.
“I’m talking about that one night though… I had just turned 14. I walked in on you in our room and you were jerking off in my bed… remember?”
I blushed deeply and pulled my fingers away from his chest. Of course I remembered. It was humiliating. Zachary had supposedly gone to a friends house that night but I guess he had decided to go home early. I was lying in his bed because it was more comfortable than my own and just smelling his cologne on the sheets had caused me to start touching myself… and once I had touched myself thinking of him, there was no going back. I basically had no other option but to jerk myself in his sheets. I was going to grab some tissues when I was getting close. I had no idea he was going to come home early.
I remember his expression like it was just yesterday. He had one eyebrow raised and his lip curled. He was slightly confused, slightly amused, mostly turned on.
“You wanted me to catch you, didn’t you?” he asked me, standing there in the middle of his room with his arms folded at his chest.
“I had no clue you were going to be home already Zac..”
Zac had smirked. Looking at me sitting there with a huge erection and ruddy cheeks was new to him... this had never happened before. “I still think you wanted to get caught.”
“No…”
“Well, caught ya anyway,” he gave me a warm smile and sat down next to me on the bed. Then his smile faded and looked at me seriously, locking eyes and saying quietly, “You don’t have to stop… in fact. I insist that you don’t.”
“You could take over…”
He shook his head. “You got yourself into this Taylor Hanson, now I want to watch you get yourself out.”
He later told me that had been one of the hottest things he had ever seen- me touching myself. You want to know what? It was one of the hottest things for me as well. There was something so utterly wrong and thrilling about jerking off while he watched.
Zac chuckled as he was laying there next to me and I snapped out of the memory. “You were so scared when I walked into the room….”
I blushed as if it had happened just yesterday. “That was cruel of you to force me to finish in front of you…” I couldn’t help but smile as I said it.
Zachary wrapped his arm around me tightly so it that his hand ended up on my ass. He used his arm to pull me closer to him so the friction between our dicks was even more intense. “Mmm… I always said I’d pay you back- let you watch me sometime. I never got a chance to.”
We were quiet for a moment, maybe taking a moment of silence for the paparazzi photographs that had thrown our entire lives off kilter. Maybe we just didn’t know what to say.
“Well, then pay me back now.”
He paused the rotation of his hips for a moment to think. When he had thought about it, he grinded into me again and grabbed at my ass lightly enough for it to be gentle, but hard enough for me to definitely notice it. “I could…”
I raised an eyebrow at him.
“Although…” he began, “You did say that YOU weren’t done with me.”
“This is true. You begin, and I’ll take over when I’m ready.” I was surprised by my own confidence. I was commanding the situation. I knew what I wanted and I was intent on getting it. It felt good to tell him what we were going to do for once.
Zac smiled a little, bit his lip to keep from smiling too much, and backed away from me a bit. It was this kind of kinky stuff that he loved- I knew it. Maybe it wasn’t kinky- but it was different. Exciting. And if he liked it, then I was sure I would like it too. Watching Zachary touch himself was something I most certainly would not turn down.
At first Zac just reached into his boxers like he had with mine, but he paused and apparently decided to take them off completely. In fact, he felt so inclined to not only take them off, but to whip them dramatically across the room.
“We don’t need those anymore…” he mumbled.
I looked down at his erect penis for the first time in two years really, and holy fuck… was it really that beautiful? It was perfect. My own dick must have grown an inch just looking at it and Zachary most certainly was right about himself too; he had gotten bigger.
He quickly took his cock in his hand and began to pump it much similar to how he had with mine- only he was quicker, harder, and less careful when he was jerking himself off. His eyes closed instinctively and he moaned loudly in pleasure- much more loudly than I ever felt comfortable.
But it was so fucking hot listening to him. His breathing became short, heavy gasps of air as he rolled over onto his back and dropped his head back against the pillow. He didn’t seem at all hesitant doing it in front of me, but I guess that’s what comes with his kind of lifestyle. He had probably done things ten million times more awkward. Plus, he was still quite plastered and probably didn’t really care what I was thinking at the moment. It felt good to him, and that’s all that mattered.
“I hope you’re enjoying this,” he groaned at one point, his lips curling into a smile again. “Because I know I am…”
His voice was thick and raspy, almost as if it was stuck deep in his throat and just barely making it out.
“I am…” I admitted and reached down to rub my own dick through the cloth of my boxers. I hoped he didn’t open his eyes and see me, although I really shouldn’t have cared at that point considering what I was watching.
Zac didn’t hold back at all, and it was entirely sexy to see that. He squeezed his eyes closed tightly, parted his lips, and hoarsely grunted with each jerk of his hand. At one point he used one hand to pump his penis and he took his other hand and brought it to the head. He pressed his palm against the head and rubbed it in slow, smooth circles.
After awhile when I was completely hard all over again from watching him, his eyes became two slits and he glanced over at me. “You want to…?”
I nodded, but I didn’t. Lie number six. I mean you have to understand, I did and I didn’t. God… I wanted to wrap my lips around his cock just how he had with mine and suck him dry. I wanted to give him exactly what he had given me. I wanted to please him. But I was so scared. I didn’t remember how and was I supposed to swallow too? I had never swallowed before. Oh god…
“Yes or no…” he said impatiently but gently, slowing down his hand dramatically. “Because… I’m feeling pretty close, Tay…”
I nodded and got up from my spot next to him and crawled down to the bottom of the bed. He opened his eyes and propped his head up against the pillow a bit to watch me. Yes, he was going to watch me. Everything I did. He too apparently knew what a turn it was to watch someone go down on you.
I crawled on top of his legs so I was straddling him like he had for me and looked up at him. He was waiting with a small smile- eagerly but patiently.
I glanced down at his overwhelming penis and took a deep breath. I wanted it. He wanted it. Tay, it’s now or never, I told myself. I gripped the base of his dick in my hand to feel a little bit more in control and lowered my mouth to it. I tried to remember what he had done to me just moments before, but it was really one blur of pleasure. I couldn’t remember details or specifics.
When I hesitated, he whispered, “Suck me, Tay… please,” a censored version of what was probably his typical dirty talk during sex.
I didn’t need another prompt. I just wrapped my lips around the head of his dick and sucked at the end- trying to imagine what would feel good to me and doing it to him. Honestly, I couldn’t really tell if I was doing a good job or not, but he seemed really content so I was just kept doing what I was doing.
Then I got a little too adventurous. I was only trying to please him, but I moved my mouth down along his shaft, taking as much of him into my mouth as I could. I took too much and I didn’t know how to do it. Suddenly I was practically gagging and coughing, pulling away from him and trying to recover. Fortunately, I was so busy recovering from my gag reflex that it took me a moment to realize how humiliating and horrible that had been. When it did hit me, my eyes went wide and I looked at Zac in horror.
He was smiling gently and looking over at me.
“It’s okay…” he said in the softest, sweetest voice I could have ever imagined. It almost made it not so humiliating. Not quite.
I felt like I could practically cry. I had been doing so good! I had been so brave and bold and daring, and then I had gagged?! I had gagged to the point that I was coughing and clutching my throat. Oh god, he must have thought I was a complete joke.
I gave him a really upset look with my eyes and looked down at the bed, shaking my head. I was mortified.
“Baby…” came that same voice. He chuckled, “It’s okay. Really. Come here and lay with me.”
I didn’t I want to though. I wanted to walk far away. Suddenly my own erection was no longer so… erect, that is, and even looking at Zac’s naked body didn’t turn me on.
He reached down and grabbed my arm, dragging me towards him, reluctantly lying down next to him on my stomach, hiding my face in a pillow.
“Oh stop,” he smiled. “I don’t care.”
“I do…” I mumbled miserably.
“Well, then you better pull yourself together. Because you said you’d finish me off, and I’m holding you to it.”
I looked up at him incredulously, turning onto my side to face him. Was he joking? Had he just seen what had happened? How was I supposed to finish him off when I couldn’t even go down on him without gagging!
“Not like that…” he half-spoke, half-whispered. He took my wrist and guided my hand down to his still erect dick. “I just like it when you touch me, Tay… please don’t leave me hanging.”
Even though I wanted to crawl into a ball and hide and pity myself for what I a fool I had proved to be, I knew I couldn’t. I wasn’t going to be a coward. Okay, so I had fucked up. Zachary wasn’t going to hold it against me for forever. He had just put so much effort into making me feel good… I needed to pull it together and do the same for him, however I could. After my little internal pep talk, I took a deep breath and ran my fingers down his cock. I rubbed my hand against the head of it until my hand was lubricated and I could pump my hand up and down his length easier. Zac reached over and held onto my other arm with his hand and closed his eyes again. I was no longer enjoying the whole thing like I was earlier and I just wanted to it to end, so I’d be lying if I were to tell you that I wasn’t relieved when he came a minute or so later.
I can tell you this much without having to even ask him: it was not the best foreplay of his life. In fact, it was probably some of the worst. But he didn’t seem to care. He just rolled over onto his side and gave me a sloppy grin.
“I’m not going to thank you because that would make me a hypocrite, but thank you.”
I nodded solemnly.
“Taylor…” he said, tilting his head at me and giving me a quirky smile. “Don’t act like this. It’s not a big deal…”
“Do we have to talk about this?” I snapped at him. I felt bad. I was being selfish but who could blame me? I was humiliated and I wasn’t thinking straight.
Zac nodded slowly. “Okay… we don’t have to talk about it… but I want you to know that I found that incredibly hot, besides the fact that you probably don’t believe me.”
He was right. I didn’t. I counted it as the 7th lie of the night, even if I wasn’t the one lying.
“I always find you incredibly hot,” he smiled, reaching towards me and pulling me in for a hug. I wanted to resist, but his naked body felt so good against my skin that I couldn’t seem to pull away.
I wanted to be angry, to be hostile, to continue my little pity parade, but instead I just sighed into his body and wrapped my arms around him.
“I’m sorry…” I whispered.
He rubbed my back gently “When I tell you it’s okay, trust me. It’s okay. I’m not saying that to make you feel better.”
“I feel so stupid…”
“Tay,” he chuckled. “That’s not as rare as you think. In fact, it’s happened to me before myself.”
I pulled away from our hug so I could see his eyes to see if he was telling the truth. “Really?”
He smirked and settled down on the bed on his back, naked and not caring at all. “Well, no. It’s never happened to me before, but I’ve been with guys who’ve accidentally done that too.”
I paused. Wait for it.. wait for it…
“I guess my cock is just too much for some guys to handle.”
Oh, I am too good. Or Zachary is too predictable. How did I know he was going to say that?
I sighed heavily and settled down on my back too. I put my hands behind my head and closed my eyes. “I really do feel really stupid though…”
“You want to know the truth?” He was smiling. I could hear it his voice.
“Okay.” Did I?
“You might think this is stupid… but it’s actually kind of a turn on. You know how you hear gay guys always talking about hot twinks?”
Since I never really considered myself a gay guy because I wasn’t active at all in the gay community, I never really tried to figure out the lingo and terms that went along with my sexuality. However I knew the term twink because people had referred to me as one a lot. Young, gay male.
“Well,” Zac continued. “When I lived out in LA, people would always point out twinks in bars and say that they bet he’d be really fun in bed. And you want to know the truth? Do you want to know what really fun in bed meant?”
“Hm?”
“Inexperienced. It might sound stupid, but innocence is a turn on, Taylor. Big time. You’re my own little twink,” he smirked.
I couldn’t help but smile at this comment. I opened my eyes to see him laying there smiling to himself. He was running his eyes up and down my body.
“Can I ask you an honest question?” he finally said when his smile faded.
“Okay.”
“Be honest with me… have you done anything with anyone but me?”
I swallowed. Why was he asking? I thought I had done such a good job all day of convincing him that yes, I had. Yes his dick was big in comparison. Yes I had given head before despite the fact that I had fucked up so miserably with him. I was tempted to lie, but I figured I’d told enough lies for one day.
“No,” I mumbled quietly and shook my head slowly. It felt like my first honest answer of the night.
Zachary smiled and reached up to my hands that were behind my head and squeezed one of them affectionately. “Good. I like knowing you’re all mine.”
He always knew the perfect thing to say when he tried. He could make me feel better no matter how shitty I was feeling. I swear, he was like magic. He was exactly what I needed when I needed it. I liked knowing he was all mine. I was really lucky.
Zac rolled onto his side and pressed his body against mine, giving me a firm, sweet kiss. “I don’t know about you, but I’m not even close to being ready to go to bed... IF, you know what I mean.”
I looked down at him wiggling his eyebrows at me mischievously and laughed out loud. I loved him. God, I loved him. How had I gone so long without him? It was really sick how much I thought about how much I loved him.
“Are you ever not horny?” I laughed at him, giving him a similar simple kiss.
He paused for a second to think about. “I don’t think so,” he finally admitted before grinning and smothering my mouth again with one of his intoxicating kisses. And we were off…
***
When I rolled awake the next morning, groggy and in desperate need of a shower, I reached over to rub Zachary’s back. In the past few days I had grown so attached to having him sleep next to me. It’s like I didn’t even remember what it was like to sleep alone. Instead of feeling his warm strong arms, I felt nothing but the mattress.
I opened my eyes and frowned at the vacant spot next to me. But everything had gone so well… I had fallen asleep in his arms… he had kissed my forehead and told me he kissed me. Everything had been so perfect and now he had left me? I looked around. His ipod was missing from the counter. His suitcase wasn’t where he left it. Where was his cell phone, his travel alarm clock, his portable game console, the wad of Spanish money he left on the nightstand…?
Fuck… not again.
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Date: 2012-12-06 12:32 am (UTC)I don't know want to let the cat out of the bag, all I can say is the sex was no dream!
For now, I just updated a new chapter which is a Flashback. Hope you enjoy ♥
Thank you very much for your feedback!!