And with each mile
Nov. 20th, 2012 11:20 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
teamzaylorCHAPTER 11: A SECOND CHANCE
Rating: NC-17
Genre: Zaylor / Hancest
Pairing: Zac & Taylor
Credits & many Thanks to: Honor @beyondthethorns
About the story: Zac & Taylor's relationship broke up when they got caught kissing by the press and their career were over in a split of a second. To continue a normal life and to take a break from his brother, Taylor starts to study at a College in London but the long distance between them can't stop their feelings for each other.
I'm very glad you enjoy the story so far :-) Thanks for your constancy of reading!
Here's Chapter 11
“Do you have to be such a lunatic all the time?!” I yelled at him as I followed him out of the restaurant and let the door slam behind me. I felt like I could cry. Zachary had just blown it between me and some other students, humiliated me in front of a pretty popular London restaurant, and slammed a door in my face. I was having trouble believing that he actually just had announced our sexual matters to the whole restaurant.
Zac paced back and forth along the sidewalk, rubbed his nose with the back of his hand and spat on the pavement. “She had no right to say that! She had no fucking right! You don’t bring up that kind of shit to people! She doesn’t know what she’s fucking dealing with!”
“You’re right, she didn’t. But you had no right to call Carter a flaming homosexual!”
“He is though!”
“You didn’t have to point it out!”
Zachary turned away from me and kicked at a bench that was sitting on the sidewalk. “He was asking me stupid, fucking questions…”
“Zac, he was just trying to be friendly… I thought you're too old still throw water ballons at people.”
“So take his side!” Zac threw his hands up in the air and flopped down on the bench, leaning forward against his legs and hiding his head. I knew he wasn’t ashamed of his public explosions, no matter how much he laughed about them or gloated about his clever insults. In this case he wasn’t gloating at all.
“I’m not taking any sides,” I mumbled, turning my back to him and staring off at the cars passing by. I just wished he could be more normal… or at least try a little bit harder to be. “I’m just saying that what you did back there was humiliating and completely uncalled for. Do you even remember what you said about me?!” My voice cracked as I said it.
“Tay…” he said quietly, his demeanor changing suddenly. “She brought it up… I wasn’t going to bring it up, she did.”
I figured “it” was our “relationship”.
“I don’t care who brought it up. You just screamed really personal things about us to an entire restaurant!” I said, trying to hold back tears that refused to abide. They began falling, one by one, down my cheeks.
He was quiet for a moment. I even turned around and glanced over my shoulder to see if he was still sitting there. When I turned, he saw that I had begun to cry. He sprang to his feet and hurried over to me.
“I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I’m sorry…” he whispered, wrapping his arms around my waist from the back and holding me in his arms. I wanted to push him away and be furious with him, but it felt nice to feel him hold me. “God, I’m sorry. I didn’t even realize how it would make you feel as I was saying it. I’m so sorry…”
“Do you know how fucking hard you make it for me to be normal?”
“I’m so sorry…” he cooed, resting his chin against my shoulder and rocked us back and forth. “I just overreacted… and… Tay… I feel horrible…”
“You should!” I said, wiping furiously at the humiliating tears. I hated to cry… especially in front of my younger brother. “How can you expect me to be in a relationship with you when you do shit like that?”
He was quiet. When he finally did speak, his voice sounded nervous and fragile like mine.
“I guess I can’t…”
As good as he felt, hugging me like that, I was too pissed at him to let him think I liked it.
I pulled away from him and sat down on the bench he’d been sitting on, staring off at the city with stony eyes.
“Tay bear…” he pleaded, following me and sitting next to me.
"Don't Tay bear me!" I said in a annoyed angry tone. How could he disrespect me so much only moments before and now act so considerate and apologetic?
“Are you bipolar?” I finally said.
“What?” I could feel his confused eyes staring at me, but I refused to turn and look at him. He didn’t deserve my full attention yet, I decided.
“Are- you- bipolar?” I spoke each word separately.
“What the fuck! No, I am not bipolar.”
“Well one minute you’re in there humiliating me and screaming at people you don’t even know, and then you’re out here hugging me and apologizing!”
Zac sighed and slid down in the bench. I glanced over at him briefly enough to notice he was staring at his sneakers- my sneakers.
“And for the record those are my shoes, just so you know,” I added, just to be mean.
He didn’t say anything for a moment or two. Finally, he said softly, “Tay… I just go a little nuts when I think people are judging me. I didn’t mean to make you uncomfortable. I swear… I’m really sorry that I did. I wasn’t thinking in there. The last thing I ever wanted to do was hurt you.”
I turned to him. His face was distressed, but completely genuine. Zachary never lied to me or tried to manipulate me. I knew if he wasn’t sorry, he wouldn’t be apologizing. I let out a heavy sigh.
“Everyone in there probably thinks we’re crazy…” I whispered, sliding a little bit closer to him.
He took this as his cue to slide closer too and then he wrapped his arms around my shoulder. It was a little bit sudden, since I was just starting to get over what had happened inside, but his touch felt good and so I slid down too and rested my head against him.
“We are crazy,” he smiled. “In a good way.”
“I can’t believe you asked some guy if he had slept with her…” I shook my head and Zachary just laughed.
“I guess sometimes I go a little too far… huh?”
“A little?!” I said, but I couldn’t help but laugh too. I’ll tell you something good about being with my crazy brother- I was never bored. “I hate how much I love you,” I told him.
I could feel his chest rise as he laughed quietly. “I’m not an easy person to love, am I?”
I was going to answer, but I got distracted by another thought. It occurred to me that I wasn’t exactly sure why Zachary loved me. He’d made it quite obvious that he still loved me- always had. But why? Zac could have so many people if he tried… but it was me that he loved.
“Why do you love me?”
He had been running his fingers through the hair against my neck, but stopped and froze when I asked him that. “Why do I… what?”
“Why do you love me?” I looked up at him a bit and then nestled my face back into his body. He smelled amazing- exactly how I remembered him to smell.
“I love you because you're smart and you’re amazingly beautiful,” he smiled. “And you say the cutest things sometimes.”
I couldn’t help but laugh when he said that.
“I love you because because you care about me. And you see beyond what everyone else sees. You get me… in fact, I think you’re the only person that does… you’re the only person that really tries to.”
“What else…?” I asked. I was human. I loved hearing all these good things about me. And it was his turn to make up.
“I love that you can be funny but also have intelligent conversations when you need to. And I love the way you think about everything way too hard and the way you defend me even when I’m an asshole. And…” his voice trailed. “I…”
“What?” I frowned. He seemed hesitant.
“I love… I love the way you kiss me…” he said quietly, his voice raspy and almost a whisper.
“You still remember how it feels… to kiss me?” I asked quietly. “After almost three years?”
Zac chuckled again. “’Course.”
“Sometimes I don’t think I remember anymore…”
He twirled the longer pieces of my hair in his fingers and sighed peacefully. “How many people have you kissed since me Tay?”
I suddenly felt very uncomfortable. The truth was, I had kissed three people since Zac. The kisses had been nothing, really- innocent, simple. I’d always found it really hard to want to kiss anyone who wasn’t Zac, so I just didn’t. Two of those people were guys that I’d tried to force myself to date, and the third was a girl. Kissing her was like kissing my Grandmother, I thought, not that I’d ever experienced that, but I could imagine how much I wouldn’t like it. It disgusted me to kiss a woman.
“How many have you kissed?” I asked, although I knew it wasn’t a matter of how many people he kissed, but how many people he’d slept with.
Zachary sighed heavily. “A lot.”
I wasn’t sure if I wanted to know what “a lot” meant, but I figured it was now or never. “What’s a lot?”
“Too many to count… too many to remember.”
I cringed. I didn’t like knowing that… I didn’t like knowing that one bit, but all along, I’d sensed it. I could tell when he came home in the middle of the night smelling like beer and sex.
“How many people have you… you know?”
Zachary laughed at my hesitance to say the word- like he always did. “Had sex with?” I nodded. “A lot too. Too many times that I’m not proud of or happy about.”
“Give me a number…” I was afraid for what he would say. I was terrified it would be somewhere in the teens- fifteen, sixteen, hell, nineteen.
“Are you sure you wanted to know?” he asked. I nodded. “Somewhere in the thirties…”
“You what!” I gasped, sitting up and pulling out of his embrace. I tried not to feel hurt, because what he did when we were apart was nothing I could feel bad about- but it really did sting to know that he’d slept with that many people who weren’t me. And it made me feel a little bit insecure that my younger brother had so much more sexual experiences than me.
“I told you it was a lot…” he looked down at his lap with his eyes narrowed and his forehead wrinkled. He looked just as upset at me.
“I… why?” I choked out.
Zac shrugged and picked at a very small tear in his jeans. “I guess I was trying to fill a void when we split up… so I tried to fill it with sex…” he paused and laughed bitterly. “ And alcohol and…parties and you name it.”
I remembered the few months Zac had spent in Los Angeles last year. I remember how he’d rarely called home during those months, but when he did he asked to speak to me immediately. He’d tell me about dance clubs he had to sneak into and crazy people he’d met, but I never assumed he had gotten that wild while he was there.
“Was this when you were in LA?”
He nodded dolefully. “Mostly…” then he looked up at me with worried eyes and asked, “Do you hate me?”
God, how could I hate him? He had been so broken those years… I couldn’t blame him. I wasn’t exactly happy that the only brother that I liked to think had been all mine had slept with handfuls of people, but I couldn’t be mad at him for it… especially when he looked at me with those puppy eyes.
“I don’t hate you at all,” I admitted.
He reached into my lap and picked up my hand, taking it in his and inspecting it. He ran the tip of his index finger along each of my own fingers, brushing them ever-so lightly. When he was done, he laced our fingers like we had the night before and squeezed my hand.
“Thanks, Taylor.”
“For what?”
“For… for giving us a second chance.”
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Chapter 12 tomorrow! :-)
Rating: NC-17
Genre: Zaylor / Hancest
Pairing: Zac & Taylor
Credits & many Thanks to: Honor @beyondthethorns
About the story: Zac & Taylor's relationship broke up when they got caught kissing by the press and their career were over in a split of a second. To continue a normal life and to take a break from his brother, Taylor starts to study at a College in London but the long distance between them can't stop their feelings for each other.
I'm very glad you enjoy the story so far :-) Thanks for your constancy of reading!
Here's Chapter 11
“Do you have to be such a lunatic all the time?!” I yelled at him as I followed him out of the restaurant and let the door slam behind me. I felt like I could cry. Zachary had just blown it between me and some other students, humiliated me in front of a pretty popular London restaurant, and slammed a door in my face. I was having trouble believing that he actually just had announced our sexual matters to the whole restaurant.
Zac paced back and forth along the sidewalk, rubbed his nose with the back of his hand and spat on the pavement. “She had no right to say that! She had no fucking right! You don’t bring up that kind of shit to people! She doesn’t know what she’s fucking dealing with!”
“You’re right, she didn’t. But you had no right to call Carter a flaming homosexual!”
“He is though!”
“You didn’t have to point it out!”
Zachary turned away from me and kicked at a bench that was sitting on the sidewalk. “He was asking me stupid, fucking questions…”
“Zac, he was just trying to be friendly… I thought you're too old still throw water ballons at people.”
“So take his side!” Zac threw his hands up in the air and flopped down on the bench, leaning forward against his legs and hiding his head. I knew he wasn’t ashamed of his public explosions, no matter how much he laughed about them or gloated about his clever insults. In this case he wasn’t gloating at all.
“I’m not taking any sides,” I mumbled, turning my back to him and staring off at the cars passing by. I just wished he could be more normal… or at least try a little bit harder to be. “I’m just saying that what you did back there was humiliating and completely uncalled for. Do you even remember what you said about me?!” My voice cracked as I said it.
“Tay…” he said quietly, his demeanor changing suddenly. “She brought it up… I wasn’t going to bring it up, she did.”
I figured “it” was our “relationship”.
“I don’t care who brought it up. You just screamed really personal things about us to an entire restaurant!” I said, trying to hold back tears that refused to abide. They began falling, one by one, down my cheeks.
He was quiet for a moment. I even turned around and glanced over my shoulder to see if he was still sitting there. When I turned, he saw that I had begun to cry. He sprang to his feet and hurried over to me.
“I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I’m sorry…” he whispered, wrapping his arms around my waist from the back and holding me in his arms. I wanted to push him away and be furious with him, but it felt nice to feel him hold me. “God, I’m sorry. I didn’t even realize how it would make you feel as I was saying it. I’m so sorry…”
“Do you know how fucking hard you make it for me to be normal?”
“I’m so sorry…” he cooed, resting his chin against my shoulder and rocked us back and forth. “I just overreacted… and… Tay… I feel horrible…”
“You should!” I said, wiping furiously at the humiliating tears. I hated to cry… especially in front of my younger brother. “How can you expect me to be in a relationship with you when you do shit like that?”
He was quiet. When he finally did speak, his voice sounded nervous and fragile like mine.
“I guess I can’t…”
As good as he felt, hugging me like that, I was too pissed at him to let him think I liked it.
I pulled away from him and sat down on the bench he’d been sitting on, staring off at the city with stony eyes.
“Tay bear…” he pleaded, following me and sitting next to me.
"Don't Tay bear me!" I said in a annoyed angry tone. How could he disrespect me so much only moments before and now act so considerate and apologetic?
“Are you bipolar?” I finally said.
“What?” I could feel his confused eyes staring at me, but I refused to turn and look at him. He didn’t deserve my full attention yet, I decided.
“Are- you- bipolar?” I spoke each word separately.
“What the fuck! No, I am not bipolar.”
“Well one minute you’re in there humiliating me and screaming at people you don’t even know, and then you’re out here hugging me and apologizing!”
Zac sighed and slid down in the bench. I glanced over at him briefly enough to notice he was staring at his sneakers- my sneakers.
“And for the record those are my shoes, just so you know,” I added, just to be mean.
He didn’t say anything for a moment or two. Finally, he said softly, “Tay… I just go a little nuts when I think people are judging me. I didn’t mean to make you uncomfortable. I swear… I’m really sorry that I did. I wasn’t thinking in there. The last thing I ever wanted to do was hurt you.”
I turned to him. His face was distressed, but completely genuine. Zachary never lied to me or tried to manipulate me. I knew if he wasn’t sorry, he wouldn’t be apologizing. I let out a heavy sigh.
“Everyone in there probably thinks we’re crazy…” I whispered, sliding a little bit closer to him.
He took this as his cue to slide closer too and then he wrapped his arms around my shoulder. It was a little bit sudden, since I was just starting to get over what had happened inside, but his touch felt good and so I slid down too and rested my head against him.
“We are crazy,” he smiled. “In a good way.”
“I can’t believe you asked some guy if he had slept with her…” I shook my head and Zachary just laughed.
“I guess sometimes I go a little too far… huh?”
“A little?!” I said, but I couldn’t help but laugh too. I’ll tell you something good about being with my crazy brother- I was never bored. “I hate how much I love you,” I told him.
I could feel his chest rise as he laughed quietly. “I’m not an easy person to love, am I?”
I was going to answer, but I got distracted by another thought. It occurred to me that I wasn’t exactly sure why Zachary loved me. He’d made it quite obvious that he still loved me- always had. But why? Zac could have so many people if he tried… but it was me that he loved.
“Why do you love me?”
He had been running his fingers through the hair against my neck, but stopped and froze when I asked him that. “Why do I… what?”
“Why do you love me?” I looked up at him a bit and then nestled my face back into his body. He smelled amazing- exactly how I remembered him to smell.
“I love you because you're smart and you’re amazingly beautiful,” he smiled. “And you say the cutest things sometimes.”
I couldn’t help but laugh when he said that.
“I love you because because you care about me. And you see beyond what everyone else sees. You get me… in fact, I think you’re the only person that does… you’re the only person that really tries to.”
“What else…?” I asked. I was human. I loved hearing all these good things about me. And it was his turn to make up.
“I love that you can be funny but also have intelligent conversations when you need to. And I love the way you think about everything way too hard and the way you defend me even when I’m an asshole. And…” his voice trailed. “I…”
“What?” I frowned. He seemed hesitant.
“I love… I love the way you kiss me…” he said quietly, his voice raspy and almost a whisper.
“You still remember how it feels… to kiss me?” I asked quietly. “After almost three years?”
Zac chuckled again. “’Course.”
“Sometimes I don’t think I remember anymore…”
He twirled the longer pieces of my hair in his fingers and sighed peacefully. “How many people have you kissed since me Tay?”
I suddenly felt very uncomfortable. The truth was, I had kissed three people since Zac. The kisses had been nothing, really- innocent, simple. I’d always found it really hard to want to kiss anyone who wasn’t Zac, so I just didn’t. Two of those people were guys that I’d tried to force myself to date, and the third was a girl. Kissing her was like kissing my Grandmother, I thought, not that I’d ever experienced that, but I could imagine how much I wouldn’t like it. It disgusted me to kiss a woman.
“How many have you kissed?” I asked, although I knew it wasn’t a matter of how many people he kissed, but how many people he’d slept with.
Zachary sighed heavily. “A lot.”
I wasn’t sure if I wanted to know what “a lot” meant, but I figured it was now or never. “What’s a lot?”
“Too many to count… too many to remember.”
I cringed. I didn’t like knowing that… I didn’t like knowing that one bit, but all along, I’d sensed it. I could tell when he came home in the middle of the night smelling like beer and sex.
“How many people have you… you know?”
Zachary laughed at my hesitance to say the word- like he always did. “Had sex with?” I nodded. “A lot too. Too many times that I’m not proud of or happy about.”
“Give me a number…” I was afraid for what he would say. I was terrified it would be somewhere in the teens- fifteen, sixteen, hell, nineteen.
“Are you sure you wanted to know?” he asked. I nodded. “Somewhere in the thirties…”
“You what!” I gasped, sitting up and pulling out of his embrace. I tried not to feel hurt, because what he did when we were apart was nothing I could feel bad about- but it really did sting to know that he’d slept with that many people who weren’t me. And it made me feel a little bit insecure that my younger brother had so much more sexual experiences than me.
“I told you it was a lot…” he looked down at his lap with his eyes narrowed and his forehead wrinkled. He looked just as upset at me.
“I… why?” I choked out.
Zac shrugged and picked at a very small tear in his jeans. “I guess I was trying to fill a void when we split up… so I tried to fill it with sex…” he paused and laughed bitterly. “ And alcohol and…parties and you name it.”
I remembered the few months Zac had spent in Los Angeles last year. I remember how he’d rarely called home during those months, but when he did he asked to speak to me immediately. He’d tell me about dance clubs he had to sneak into and crazy people he’d met, but I never assumed he had gotten that wild while he was there.
“Was this when you were in LA?”
He nodded dolefully. “Mostly…” then he looked up at me with worried eyes and asked, “Do you hate me?”
God, how could I hate him? He had been so broken those years… I couldn’t blame him. I wasn’t exactly happy that the only brother that I liked to think had been all mine had slept with handfuls of people, but I couldn’t be mad at him for it… especially when he looked at me with those puppy eyes.
“I don’t hate you at all,” I admitted.
He reached into my lap and picked up my hand, taking it in his and inspecting it. He ran the tip of his index finger along each of my own fingers, brushing them ever-so lightly. When he was done, he laced our fingers like we had the night before and squeezed my hand.
“Thanks, Taylor.”
“For what?”
“For… for giving us a second chance.”
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Chapter 12 tomorrow! :-)
![[identity profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/openid.png){kind=small}
no subject
Date: 2012-11-20 10:40 am (UTC)And Zac you're such a teenage slut!!! I love him!! ♥♥
Besides that, I have a question, what does "bipolar" exactly means? Did he mean schizophrenic, bisexual or depressive? I can't find a clear translation.
no subject
Date: 2012-12-01 09:05 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2012-12-01 10:01 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2012-12-01 10:01 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2012-12-02 12:15 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2012-12-03 08:49 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2012-11-20 12:27 pm (UTC)The way you portrayed Zac and Tay here is very plausible. I love the way you described Tay's feelings. And slutty Zac is always my favorite.... Such a nice read, more soon....! <3 <3 <3
no subject
Date: 2012-11-20 02:06 pm (UTC)It's so adorable how after all they've been through on the last 3 years, they still love each other if not even more.
I'm so glad Tay decided to give themselves a second chance ❤❤❤
I can't wait to see what happens next. More please :))
no subject
Date: 2012-11-20 05:15 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2012-11-21 04:38 am (UTC)I guess he means schizophrenic with bipolar but I'm also not quiet sure.
Chapter 12 is online!