And with each mile
Nov. 16th, 2012 02:36 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
teamzaylorCHAPTER 7 : BOYISH PECKS
Rating: NC-17
Genre: Zaylor / Hancest
Pairing: Zac & Taylor
Credits & many Thanks to: Honor @beyondthethorns
About the story: Zac & Taylor's relationship broke up when they got caught kissing by the press and their career were over in a split of a second. To continue a normal life and to take a break from his brother, Taylor starts to study at a College in London but the long distance between them can't stop their feelings for each other.
Thank you very much for your patience ♥ here's Chapter 7 :-)
Fortunately, unlike my brother, the part of my mind that censors what comes out of my mouth actually works.
“Oh… just that I can’t believe you’re here… in England with me.”
He grinned and climbed into bed in his boxers. He’d always slept like that. I usually did too, but I felt awkward taking off my pajamas pants and t-shirt once I was already sitting in the bed. It might have seemed like I was insinuating something I was definitely not ready for… and something I suspect he wasn’t ready for either.
“Sometimes it pays to love a nut,” he laughed. “Who else would fly across the Atlantic just to be with you?”
It was a bold statement for such a casual conversation. Not only was he saying that I loved him, but he was saying that he had flown to England with the intention of us being together. Both of those things I knew, but hearing them from him in that context… I don’t know. It surprised me.
He pulled the covers up and slid under them. I was freezing. The cold of the night does not suit me well. I get cold a lot easier than he do- something I attribute to his well-built physique. I wondered if I was supposed to get under the covers too. I didn’t see why not. I was sleeping over, right? I put my shoes off and got under the covers with him, making sure to stay close to my side of the bed in an effort to make a statement. It was strange. It felt all too natural- laying under the covers with him.
“Talk to me,” he smiled, laying on his side to face me and propping his head up against his arm. He was still smiling- ear to ear.
I turned onto my side too and smiled back at him because his grin was so contagious. I couldn’t help it.
I’d tried to look in the mirror before and smile just as seductively as he did, but I never managed to pull it off so I just gave him my best Taylor smile.
“I can’t believe we can lay next to each other and talk instead of having to talk into a cell phone in separate beds,” I said. I was obsessing, I know, but it felt unreal.
“What do I have to do to get you to believe that I’m here?” he chuckled and then reached out and touched my cheek. Just the tips of his fingers brushed against my cold skin, but it was enough to send chills down my spine. Zac’s touch could do things to me that no one else’s could. “See? I’m really here.”
“Alright, now I believe it,” I humored him.
He paused for a moment and then looked me in the eyes. “It is pretty cool though, huh?”
“How come you decided to come exactly…?”
“I told you. You said you missed me.”
“I know but…” I sighed, trying to sort out his spontaneous ways. I guess I wanted to hear him say that he’d come to England to have something with me. He’d said it before, but I guess I wanted to hear it again.
“Tay… you know why I came.”
We were quiet, because he was right, I did.
“What changed?” I asked quietly, peeling my eyes off the covers and looking him in the eyes. Zac has these gentle warm brown eyes that are so comforting. Maybe they’re not comforting for everybody, but for me, they say so much. He looked confused so I decided I needed to clarify. “For two years… we pretended that we could live without each other. You dated different people and I… well I never really had girlfriends, but you know I went on dates now and then. How come the day I left for England you decided we couldn’t live without each other anymore? Why did it take me moving thousands of miles away for us to start talking again… like we used to talk?”
He slid closer to me but didn’t touch me, which was probably good because at that point I still felt awkward being in the bed with him. It felt like things were moving fast- just as fast as they had when I was fifteen years old and realized that I felt the same way about Zac as he felt about me. But everything is fast with Zachary. I shouldn’t have expected anything but.
“I don’t know, Tay…” he said thoughtfully, frowning down at the space in between us as he thought. “I guess… I just got fed up of realizing that no one, no matter how good looking they were or how much they liked me, was going to compare to you. I guess I just decided this is stupid… this is stupid to try and bury our love because of society.”
I don’t know why I said what I said next. I never meant to hurt him. It was just a question that I asked because I was curious and partly because I guess I wanted to challenge him. I don’t know really.
“How do you even know I still love you back?”
He frowned, clearly taken back by my question. I noticed he instinctively slid away from me. “I guess I just…” but he didn’t finish the statement. For him to be so speechless meant I had really hurt him.
“Zac… I didn’t mean it like that,” I sighed. “I…”
Well, now I had to say it. I had to say it or Zac would think he wasted a lot of money on a flight to see someone who was leading him on. I loved Zac with every piece of my being. He was my beginning and my end- my ‘dream come true’ and my ‘everything’s going to be okay’. I knew that. It’s just… I was so used to pretending not to love him for the last two years- patting him on the back like brothers are supposed to and going out and trying to fall in love with someone else. It felt foreign to be able to confess how I felt about him and I wasn’t sure exactly how to do it. Over the phone we’d say things to each other like “you don’t know how badly I miss you” and “I wish you were here with me right now.” We said things that clearly implied how much we still loved each other- how our love hadn’t faded in the two years that we’d hoped it might. We were stuck with each other. That’s just how it was. We made it obvious in our emails, the way we signed them typing out “love you”, that we still loved each other, but saying it while I was laying there next time? Actually telling him I loved him? I wasn’t sure I remembered how.
“You know I love you,” I finally said quietly, surprised it came out as easily as it did.
He nodded. “I do. That’s why I came.”
He slid closer to me again, and just so I didn’t hurt his feelings, I slid closer to him. He smiled when I did.
“I love it when you smile,” I said- not using that censor that I was bragging about before. Zac seemed just as surprised that the statement came out of my mouth.
“I can’t help it when I’m around you,” he shrugged, grinning even more.
I laughed. “Listen to us…”
He laughed too. “We couldn’t get mushier if we tried.”
He slid closer again, and for a moment, I thought he might kiss me. But he didn’t. Instead, he reached out, felt around for my cold hand under the covers and then took it in his warm when he found it. He laced his fingers through mine and smiled lovingly at me. Holding hands had never felt so good.
“I think we could… pretty Tay bear,” he giggled.
“Oh god…” I grinned at his stupid, mushy term of endearment. “You didn’t…”
“Oh, I did,” he smirked at me. “Hey, reach around and turn off that light.”
It was a struggle to turn off the lamp without letting go of his hand, but I managed. It was kind of surreal feeling, laying in bed with Zac after so long. I’d thought about it during the last four years- thought about what it might feel like to sleep with him again watch as his eyes fluttered closed and he fell asleep. When we were younger, I could watch him sleep for hours. It was something I never completely understood because the thought of watching anyone else sleep… well, it was enough to put me to sleep. But with Zac… I could lay there for forever just watching his chest rise up and down.
“Where is this going?” I said quietly as we laid there together. I’m all about plans. I need to know what I’m doing, why I’m doing it, and how I’m doing it. I like my life to be orderly and predictable. Zachary’s just the opposite. He doesn’t like knowing what’s ahead of him, so I didn’t expect an adequate response from him.
“Wherever it takes us,” he said exactly what I could have predicted he’d say. I wonder how he would feel if I told him, someone who prides himself on being unpredictable, that I know him well enough that I can know what he’s going to say before he says it. To me, it’s a comfort.
I wonder if it would be for him too.
“Are you scared?” I said, my voice no louder than a whisper. Although we were still condemned for our teenage relationship years ago, once we stopped seeing each other the judgment stopped a lot. I wasn’t sure if I was ready to face all the condemnation we were going to get all over again. I wasn’t sure what my family would think if they found out Zac and I were giving it a second chance. I didn’t know if I could be brave and handle the looks we got when we held hands in public. Maturity had sucked a certain amount of bravery out of me, in a sense.
He nodded. “Sort of…”
I nodded too.
“Tay?”
“Hm?”
“You really love me… after all these years? You still really love me? You haven’t changed your mind and realized you like women, right? You haven’t decided that it’s impossible to love your younger brother because society tells you it is, correct?”
“Zac…” I said, glancing down at our hands that were still locked together. I finally felt warm again.
“Would I be laying here holding your hand if I thought any of that?”
“I guess not,” he said in a voice that led me to believe he was blushing even though I couldn’t tell in the dark. I could make out his face, but the color of his skin was another story.
“I’m so glad this happened, Tay…” he said quietly to me. His voice sounded small and vulnerable so I squeezed his hand to assure him that I agreed. “I’m not going to let you go again.”
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
No it's not the end! ;-) Chapter 8 will be posted tomorrow
Rating: NC-17
Genre: Zaylor / Hancest
Pairing: Zac & Taylor
Credits & many Thanks to: Honor @beyondthethorns
About the story: Zac & Taylor's relationship broke up when they got caught kissing by the press and their career were over in a split of a second. To continue a normal life and to take a break from his brother, Taylor starts to study at a College in London but the long distance between them can't stop their feelings for each other.
Thank you very much for your patience ♥ here's Chapter 7 :-)
Fortunately, unlike my brother, the part of my mind that censors what comes out of my mouth actually works.
“Oh… just that I can’t believe you’re here… in England with me.”
He grinned and climbed into bed in his boxers. He’d always slept like that. I usually did too, but I felt awkward taking off my pajamas pants and t-shirt once I was already sitting in the bed. It might have seemed like I was insinuating something I was definitely not ready for… and something I suspect he wasn’t ready for either.
“Sometimes it pays to love a nut,” he laughed. “Who else would fly across the Atlantic just to be with you?”
It was a bold statement for such a casual conversation. Not only was he saying that I loved him, but he was saying that he had flown to England with the intention of us being together. Both of those things I knew, but hearing them from him in that context… I don’t know. It surprised me.
He pulled the covers up and slid under them. I was freezing. The cold of the night does not suit me well. I get cold a lot easier than he do- something I attribute to his well-built physique. I wondered if I was supposed to get under the covers too. I didn’t see why not. I was sleeping over, right? I put my shoes off and got under the covers with him, making sure to stay close to my side of the bed in an effort to make a statement. It was strange. It felt all too natural- laying under the covers with him.
“Talk to me,” he smiled, laying on his side to face me and propping his head up against his arm. He was still smiling- ear to ear.
I turned onto my side too and smiled back at him because his grin was so contagious. I couldn’t help it.
I’d tried to look in the mirror before and smile just as seductively as he did, but I never managed to pull it off so I just gave him my best Taylor smile.
“I can’t believe we can lay next to each other and talk instead of having to talk into a cell phone in separate beds,” I said. I was obsessing, I know, but it felt unreal.
“What do I have to do to get you to believe that I’m here?” he chuckled and then reached out and touched my cheek. Just the tips of his fingers brushed against my cold skin, but it was enough to send chills down my spine. Zac’s touch could do things to me that no one else’s could. “See? I’m really here.”
“Alright, now I believe it,” I humored him.
He paused for a moment and then looked me in the eyes. “It is pretty cool though, huh?”
“How come you decided to come exactly…?”
“I told you. You said you missed me.”
“I know but…” I sighed, trying to sort out his spontaneous ways. I guess I wanted to hear him say that he’d come to England to have something with me. He’d said it before, but I guess I wanted to hear it again.
“Tay… you know why I came.”
We were quiet, because he was right, I did.
“What changed?” I asked quietly, peeling my eyes off the covers and looking him in the eyes. Zac has these gentle warm brown eyes that are so comforting. Maybe they’re not comforting for everybody, but for me, they say so much. He looked confused so I decided I needed to clarify. “For two years… we pretended that we could live without each other. You dated different people and I… well I never really had girlfriends, but you know I went on dates now and then. How come the day I left for England you decided we couldn’t live without each other anymore? Why did it take me moving thousands of miles away for us to start talking again… like we used to talk?”
He slid closer to me but didn’t touch me, which was probably good because at that point I still felt awkward being in the bed with him. It felt like things were moving fast- just as fast as they had when I was fifteen years old and realized that I felt the same way about Zac as he felt about me. But everything is fast with Zachary. I shouldn’t have expected anything but.
“I don’t know, Tay…” he said thoughtfully, frowning down at the space in between us as he thought. “I guess… I just got fed up of realizing that no one, no matter how good looking they were or how much they liked me, was going to compare to you. I guess I just decided this is stupid… this is stupid to try and bury our love because of society.”
I don’t know why I said what I said next. I never meant to hurt him. It was just a question that I asked because I was curious and partly because I guess I wanted to challenge him. I don’t know really.
“How do you even know I still love you back?”
He frowned, clearly taken back by my question. I noticed he instinctively slid away from me. “I guess I just…” but he didn’t finish the statement. For him to be so speechless meant I had really hurt him.
“Zac… I didn’t mean it like that,” I sighed. “I…”
Well, now I had to say it. I had to say it or Zac would think he wasted a lot of money on a flight to see someone who was leading him on. I loved Zac with every piece of my being. He was my beginning and my end- my ‘dream come true’ and my ‘everything’s going to be okay’. I knew that. It’s just… I was so used to pretending not to love him for the last two years- patting him on the back like brothers are supposed to and going out and trying to fall in love with someone else. It felt foreign to be able to confess how I felt about him and I wasn’t sure exactly how to do it. Over the phone we’d say things to each other like “you don’t know how badly I miss you” and “I wish you were here with me right now.” We said things that clearly implied how much we still loved each other- how our love hadn’t faded in the two years that we’d hoped it might. We were stuck with each other. That’s just how it was. We made it obvious in our emails, the way we signed them typing out “love you”, that we still loved each other, but saying it while I was laying there next time? Actually telling him I loved him? I wasn’t sure I remembered how.
“You know I love you,” I finally said quietly, surprised it came out as easily as it did.
He nodded. “I do. That’s why I came.”
He slid closer to me again, and just so I didn’t hurt his feelings, I slid closer to him. He smiled when I did.
“I love it when you smile,” I said- not using that censor that I was bragging about before. Zac seemed just as surprised that the statement came out of my mouth.
“I can’t help it when I’m around you,” he shrugged, grinning even more.
I laughed. “Listen to us…”
He laughed too. “We couldn’t get mushier if we tried.”
He slid closer again, and for a moment, I thought he might kiss me. But he didn’t. Instead, he reached out, felt around for my cold hand under the covers and then took it in his warm when he found it. He laced his fingers through mine and smiled lovingly at me. Holding hands had never felt so good.
“I think we could… pretty Tay bear,” he giggled.
“Oh god…” I grinned at his stupid, mushy term of endearment. “You didn’t…”
“Oh, I did,” he smirked at me. “Hey, reach around and turn off that light.”
It was a struggle to turn off the lamp without letting go of his hand, but I managed. It was kind of surreal feeling, laying in bed with Zac after so long. I’d thought about it during the last four years- thought about what it might feel like to sleep with him again watch as his eyes fluttered closed and he fell asleep. When we were younger, I could watch him sleep for hours. It was something I never completely understood because the thought of watching anyone else sleep… well, it was enough to put me to sleep. But with Zac… I could lay there for forever just watching his chest rise up and down.
“Where is this going?” I said quietly as we laid there together. I’m all about plans. I need to know what I’m doing, why I’m doing it, and how I’m doing it. I like my life to be orderly and predictable. Zachary’s just the opposite. He doesn’t like knowing what’s ahead of him, so I didn’t expect an adequate response from him.
“Wherever it takes us,” he said exactly what I could have predicted he’d say. I wonder how he would feel if I told him, someone who prides himself on being unpredictable, that I know him well enough that I can know what he’s going to say before he says it. To me, it’s a comfort.
I wonder if it would be for him too.
“Are you scared?” I said, my voice no louder than a whisper. Although we were still condemned for our teenage relationship years ago, once we stopped seeing each other the judgment stopped a lot. I wasn’t sure if I was ready to face all the condemnation we were going to get all over again. I wasn’t sure what my family would think if they found out Zac and I were giving it a second chance. I didn’t know if I could be brave and handle the looks we got when we held hands in public. Maturity had sucked a certain amount of bravery out of me, in a sense.
He nodded. “Sort of…”
I nodded too.
“Tay?”
“Hm?”
“You really love me… after all these years? You still really love me? You haven’t changed your mind and realized you like women, right? You haven’t decided that it’s impossible to love your younger brother because society tells you it is, correct?”
“Zac…” I said, glancing down at our hands that were still locked together. I finally felt warm again.
“Would I be laying here holding your hand if I thought any of that?”
“I guess not,” he said in a voice that led me to believe he was blushing even though I couldn’t tell in the dark. I could make out his face, but the color of his skin was another story.
“I’m so glad this happened, Tay…” he said quietly to me. His voice sounded small and vulnerable so I squeezed his hand to assure him that I agreed. “I’m not going to let you go again.”
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
No it's not the end! ;-) Chapter 8 will be posted tomorrow
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Date: 2012-11-18 11:06 am (UTC)Jump in and make out!! haha