teamzaylor: (Default)
[personal profile] teamzaylor
Chapter: 45
Rating: Nc-17
Warnings: Language, Death, Crime
Chapter Overview: Link

About the Story: The death of their parents broke Taylor and Zac apart. Each of them went his own way of life, Taylor became a famous superstar and never thought that his profession would bring his life in danger someday. Blade (Zac) buried the past and lived his life contentedly in his dark and dirty world as a pimp. Because of some unexpected circumstances Blade got hired as Taylor's bodyguard and the brothers saw each other for the first time after almost a decade.
How will they overcome the shadows of the past?

Authors Notes: Hey guys!
Hope you enjoy the new Chapter ♡ The next Update will be posted in the following weeks.

previous Chapter 44                                                                                                                                                                next Chapter 46


Even though there were no customers in the barber's shop, the staff seemed busy about their work as we entered it, except two women who looked up from their work and left things undone in an instant.

“Good morning, Mr. Hanson, I’m Mrs. Drakeford and this is my assistent Miss Stacey. What can we do for you?”

The middle aged woman who addressed me formally welcomed Zac and me friendly.

"Good morning, I need to get shaved, please."

"Just you sir, or does your company need to get shaved too?" The tone in the voice from the younger girl was a little condescending as she gave my brother a once over, probably because he was the only one in the salon who was dressed down. Apparently, it was beneath her to approach Zac personally, she only gave him a short frown and turned her attention back to me. He didn't seem to care though.

I swallowed lightly and buried my hands deeper in my jacket pockets. How do I say this?

"No, uhm... Mr. Caziano is my bodyguard and he's only here for my security..." I explained my situation bashfully. It demanded much of me to press out that strange introduction about my little brother for the first time and I couldn't help to blush with shame, hoping no one would notice. Unobtrusively, I peered over to Zachary. I still expected him to laugh sometimes about how fucking awkward our situation was, but he kept silent with a straight face.

"Alright Mr. Hanson, I already had the pleasure to get to know Mr. Caziano. I'm going to leave you to my assistant Stacey. She'll gladly serve you. Can I bring you something to drink, a coffee or a tea?"

"A coffee would be fine, thank you."

"Sure Mr. Hanson. My pleasure."

Mrs. Drakeford gave us a politely smile before she walked into another room and her assistant girl motioned me to follow her.

"You can put your things down here Taylor," Miss Stacey pointed to a small table in a corner. I silently followed her, put my bag down and laid Isabelle's flowers carefully next to it. I then turned around to her again and took a seat in front of a huge wall mirror where I peacefully sat on their reclining salon chair. Blade sat on a stool in the waiting area, grabbing a sports magazine.

I leaned my head on the headrest in an instant. I couldn't wait to relax my powerless limbs for a little while.

"I didn't expect that I would get the honor to serve such a famous superstar today. It's a big honor for me Taylor...." The young assistent girl suddenly lost her composure.

"Hey Miss! Just serve Mr. Hanson and don't chatter on him! My client wants to get shaved, so serve your customer in all decency! Be quiet, or else!"


My brother's voice snarled at the sudden excitement of the young women who was about to serve me. Even though Blade had not a spark of decency he was resolute and convincing. And this time I was glad about it his interruption honestly. Not because I suddenly didn't mind his impoliteness anymore, but I wanted to allow myself to enjoy some quiet and relaxation which was much needed.

“Oooh, of course.” Stacey bursted out in a high pitch. “I'm sorry, sir.”

She looked irritated after Zachary's warning, but stopped talking. I didn't know if she was intimidated of my brother or what they were thinking about him. I didn’t know what he did, if he threatened them with his gun which was probably still tucked in his belt. I watched him in my peripheral view, he was calmly reading the magazine as if he was so engrossed to it. I looked down to his waist, then sideways, I couldn’t see his gun, but I was sure that it was there somewhere. I knew nothing about guns and I just knew the one he had was silver. I didn’t know how to handle the fact that my brother could carry a gun with a calm posture like that. He carried his gun around like it belonged to his daily routine life. Apparently, he considered it normal to need a gun in his pimp job.

His strange and dark way of life gave me cause for concern. I didn't want my little brother being connected into something criminal and to work as a pimp was surely not a way to avoid that.

I wanted to do something for him, help him to get away from that way of life. Out of that criminal Red Light district in which for sure no good future would wait for him. But who knows if he'd want a change at all and even if he does, would he accept my help after all? On the other hand, how could I help him when my life wasn't safe for him as well?

I closed my eyes for a moment. I needed a break from those unsolved problems. I had so many issues to care for today. I would continue thinking about them once my meeting with Nat’s parents was over.

“Mr. Hanson, I’m going to put on shaving cream now, is that, ok?”

“Sure, go on.” I answered in a calm voice.

"Damn! This better be my car next month!” Blade suddenly exclaimed loudly.

Stacey and I turned our heads to him. As I saw my brother sitting there, I became to see a picture which almost made me lose my composure as well. A picture, no it was more a memory rushed over me as Zachary suddenly began to make driving sounds with the magazine in his hands like a steering wheel, evidently finding himself funny as hell, without caring about his audience or the strange looks he was receiving, was he busy entertaining himself with his sports magazine.

As I sat there watching him, I might have cried tears of joy when he suddenly became to that goofy boy to which I was so used when we were younger. I didn't expect that he would still clown around like that nine years later. Especially not after what I had experienced with him in the last couple of days.

And I felt hope. Hope that Zachary still existed in Blade.

I don't know if he was aware of it what it meant to me that I saw him acting playfully like that. For a short while he was my typical little brother again that I remembered.

I had no idea if he did it on purpose, but it was effective. Obviously, Zac still had the talent to make people laugh.
I saw a few from the staff smiling and Stacey turned her attention back to me in a calmer look after that.

“Ok, Mr. Hanson just sit back and relax.”

Feeling more at ease, I rested my hands on the armchair and readied myself. They had a ceiling mirror from which I could see my reflection.

I was pale, I thought, but in a nice way, soft like the morning light. I was thin, maybe too thin, but I liked it that way...

"Here's your coffee Mr. Taylor Hanson." Mrs. Drakeford came back with a cup in her hand and set it down in front of me. She was dressed in a black pleated skirt, and what looked like an elegant ivory colored satin blouse and high heels. I liked the flower bracelet that she wore around her wrist.


"Thank you very much Ma'am." I gave her a thankful smile and immediately took a long sip of it down my dry throat.


"You're very welcome." She replied courteously, before she turned away to let Stacey begin with her task. I leaned my head back and closed my eyes again, trying to relax.


This is going to be quick, I had nothing to worry about.

I then felt the shaving cream and her hands massaging the side of my cheeks down to my chin. I let myself fall, listening to some faint music which played in the radio of the salon during that time.

Something shattered
Died inside of me
And I don't feel
And I don't feel the same
Nothing matters
I want to desperately
But I don't feel
And I don't feel the same...

I could go on bending the truth
But what's the point in that?
What do you need to be satisfied
Do I have to scream to keep you high?
Well I'm not screaming any more
I guess all my words
Finally wasted away

Did you think I'd be fine?
That I would follow blind
Out of my head with love
Knowing I was nothing to you
What do you make of me?
You thought that I'd make believe
You were wrong

Something shattered
Died inside of me
And I don't feel
And I don't feel the same
Nothing matters
I want to desperately
But I don't feel
And I don't feel the same...

It almost felt to me as if the powerful voice from the unknown singer would sing about my feelings in his ballad... the lyrics were like my feelings, the feelings between Zac and me...

Sometimes emotions can be expressed in songs so much better than in words...

I peacefully listened to the last sounds of the song and let Stacey do her task silently until I suddenly got distracted when I heard a loud noise from outside. There seemed to be a commotion.

“Taylor!!!! Ohhh, Taylor! We love you!”

The familiar loud screaming from some girls brought me quickly back to reality. I opened my eyes, my stare immediately wandered outside the glass wall.

“No, shit!” Blade threw the magazine away that he was reading, stood up and hurried over to Mrs. Drakeford who still stood behind the counter.

“I don’t know how it happened, Mr. Caziano. I followed your orders.” She assured him. I wasn't sure if my brother accused them for the commotion.

"I need the keys to lock the doors Lady! Now!"

Instead of wasting time with long speeches, he didn't discuss with her about it. Blade automatically seemed to know what to do.

Mrs. Drakeford fished the keys out of her work coat and handed them to my brother who immediately hurried to the entrance doors and locked them after that.

The staff seemed a little nervous about the sudden huge crowd outside the salon which seemed to get bigger with every moment.

"Quiet down, everyone!” Blade instructed harshly and received prompt obedience.

Well, if I wouldn't be used to it, I would be nervous, too.
People were pushing each other, screaming my name over and over again, trying desperately to get a better view inside with their cellphones and cameras in their hands trying to take a picture of me.

I gave them a pitiful look even though I got bigger problems to face. In normal situations, I would gladly welcome their presence, but I felt too tired of it all at the moment.

I didn’t want to think about the screaming fans outside, or worse paparazzi who wanted information about my dead wife’s case.
I could already imagine that they wanted answers from me. Answers about my wife's death, answers about my tour cancel and when I would perform again. All those things of which I didn't even have an answer for myself currently. I didn't know how to deal with it if I would get bombarded with their curious questions.

I stared out to the window pane as I was in a trance, feeling the fear building up inside of me because of their sudden appearance.


Blade ordered the staff to close the curtains and to Stacey to finish her task quickly. He sounded professional, as if he was really on duty as a soldier, but I wasn't able to focus on his actions. All I remembered was that they luckily moved in harmony after his orders.

One of them pulled the curtain to cover the glass wall. It suddenly went dimly inside, like the way I felt. Another one arranged more lights that Stacey could finish her job.

Except Mrs. Drakeford, they sat together on the waiting bench, whispering to each other after that while Stacey washed the rest of the shaving cream away which covered my face.

I didn’t know what to say, I couldn’t face those screaming fans in my current state.

"Are you guys done?"

“Yes, Mr. Caziano”, Stacey's answer was formal now compared earlier that she even called Zac, Blade.

Even though I was concerned about the sudden tumult outside the shop, I was glad that no one of them knew who Blade really was. The media and the well informed part from my fans knew that I had a younger brother named Zachary. I had talked about in some interviews that me and my little brother lost contact through unfortunate circumstances and that I was searching for him...


It does exist highly probably even articles in some magazines about those interviews.

I am not a person who does involve private family affairs in public but I hoped him to find him that way. I thought it would be a bigger chance to find Zac.

I think there was too much of a coincidence to believe that I won't ever get to be with him again. I just don't believe that God would let me find out about my younger brother and not let me do anything about it.

Nervously, I dabbed my chin and my neck dry with a soft towel that Stacey handed to me.

"Blade, I can't face them right now, is there a way for us to go without them on the way?"

My legs were trembling as I was about to stand up.

“Do you have a backdoor?” He turned his attention to Stacey this time, who looked probably as pale as me.

“Yes we have a back exit, Mr. Caziano." Mrs. Drakeford interrupted before Stacey could answer him which made her looking relieved. Somehow, Mrs. Drakeford seemed to trust my brother in his actions more than I did. She moved by his request without asking, as if there was an unspoken connection between them. And he also clearly treated her with more respect than the rest of the staff.

"Stay here Taylor, okay?" Zachary turned his attention back to me.

"Where are you going? Are you going to leave me alone?" I exclaimed concerned.


Panic rose in me and the pleading words came out of my mouth before I could think about how pathetic they were. I didn't want him to go anywhere without me.

Is he going to leave me here!?

“I’ll just park the car to the nearest place from the back door so that we can walk to it.” His hand gripped my shoulder tightly.

“You’re going out of here without me.” I suddenly accused him.

I just couldn't imagine anymore that he was able to handle it. He was my little brother. The boy who just played in enthusiasm with a sports magazine suddenly should deal with this situation.

What if he was deep down as scared as I was? How did he intend to handle it?

He squatted in front of me, his other hand gripped my other shoulder.

"Just stay the fuck in here and wait for me. I’ll be very quick. Do you get me, Taylor? I'll come back and get you out of here. I'm not going without you anywhere!”

The sheer composure in his voice told me to trust him and made me realize how pathetic my behaviour was. I sank down in the chair, I wanted it to swallow me in any way possible. I wanted to disappear because of shame and my egoism that I was accusing my little brother, just because I didn't want to be left alone...

"I'm so sorry." I apologized, dropping my face into my hand in embarrassment about my behavior. It made me feel very small and weak having to look up to my little brother as my guard and my leader. My gosh, he must have thought of me as such a wimp as he told me I should stay in because it isn’t safe, I shamefully thought to myself. I was just afraid because I didn't know how to deal with that massive hysterical crowd in my weak and defenseless state.

Apparently, I had no choice but to let my younger brother do the rest for me. I owed him to show him my trust but I was doing the exact opposite. I had to keep in mind that I hired him. From now on Zac was my big brother and I had to do what he told me. It also meant that he carried the heavy responsibility to watch out for me and even though it was hard for me to deal with it, I respected him for his resoluteness to do this job.

“Keep calm Taylor, trust me and wait here.” He patted my shoulder before he let go off me, letting me know that he wasn't mad, then gave Mrs. Drakeford a nod, before he hurried with her towards the back exit.

I sat there and watched him go out of the salon. I didn’t know what gotten into me that gave me the sudden attitude to accuse him.
If that was what my brother wanted, it was what I would do for him. I needed some distraction so I took my phone out of my purse and texted Skye.

"Blade is so ghetto."

Skye texted back "Hey babe, I know. But he was cool to me." I loved getting called 'babe', it made me feel delicate and gentle. Guess I'm just a gentle guy. It has been a so long ago that Natalie called me like that. I liked when Skye did it, even though our friendship was not more than platonic.

I leaned back in the chair as I typed in my reply "Have a big brother now." As I imagined Skye's confused face I had to smile.

His reply came unexpected though and
brought a slight blush to my cheeks. Secretively I held my hand over the display, so no one else could read our conversation.

"Well I'd say dainty and pretty babes like us need the protection and guidance of a strong and manly guy. Blade is perfect. He's sexy and manly. If only I could catch his attention for once... *dreamy sigh* Too bad he's straight. Why is it so difficult for you to deal with him?"

Skye was mesmerized by my brother. I couldn't help but think what Blade would think about Skye's and mine girly chat.

"I don't know I... just
having a hard time coming to terms with it. And I don't know what people will think of me and how to explain him my gayness. I feel embarrassed and humiliated."

"I know you are Tay Tay. But like I keep telling you, that's natural sweetie, I know anyone who first comes out is a little scared. So it's not like your alone cutie. It won't be so hard for you anymore once people are used to it. You're one of the sweetest, gentlest guys I ever knew."

"Maybe I'm just too shy..."

"Aww, that's sweet babe." He replied. A little wink smiley symbol was at the end of the text. I would have agreed with him if my guard wasn't my little brother. Skye was a little over excited about Blade, although I had to admit that I had also taken notice of Blade's strength and his powerful appearance at a few occassions. He had saved Skye even though he was a stranger to him and now he was about to save me... Even though Blade had a mysterious, sinister character, he seemed to have the strength and heart of a lion.

Could he bring me out of here? I didn't answer Skye because I was too worried about Zac and how he planned to get away from here, so I put my phone back into my purse, stood up and went to the window pane. My conscience pricked me as I took a peak outside.

With shaking hands, I pulled the curtain aside a little bit and saw Blade being pushed by the crowd which blocked both exits already. There were some media, too.


He didn’t seem to be intimidated, though. Even the crowd felt his confidence, they all moved aside to let him pass. At least most of them. He looked calmed in spite of the chaos and the noise around him. He looked different suddenly, the look of concentration in his face somehow astonished me.


But I knew that many of my fans were hysterical and unpredictable. Even though the public knew that I got married at a young age already, the hysteria around me had never really lessened. The hype about my person has gained with the constant growth of my fame.

I didn't notice that Mrs. Drakeford was already back until she spoke to me in a soft and apologizing tone.

"I'm sorry for the sudden tumult Mr. Hanson. Actually, we wanted to provide you some relaxation during your visit here, but we can't influence the happenings in the whole mall outside this salon."

"I know, it's not your fault Ma'am. I also didn't intend to cause any trouble. I just need to get out of here soon." I replied understanding and turned to her for a moment.


She gave me a look of commiseration. Her eyes were filled with sympathy, I just could feel that she was sincere.

"Good thing your bodyguard is caring about your protection." A little smile formed across her lips and I knew that she said it to cheer me up.

But her words couldn't make me feel better. If she knew who Blade really was... would she have said it to me anyway...? I doubt it.

How would they think about me if they'd know that my little brother was outside in the middle of a hysterical fan crowd while I was waiting for his return that he'd get me out of here? How could I explain that I wasn't allowed to go out because my little brother told me to stay inside?

I needed to turn away from her and the stuff coz I didn't want anyone to see me how ashamed I felt that Zachary was arranging the matters for my security, while I was here, as weak as a kitten. I longed to go to a bathroom, a place where I could curl and hide and not having to feel their unbearable gazes on me anymore.

Ashamed, I bit my lower lip to stop myself from saying something which I might regret afterwards, went to the small table in the corner, took my bag, and the bouquet of flowers before I went back to her. I hemmed and cleared my throat a couple times before I could even speak again.

"How much do I owe you, Mrs. Drakeford?" I asked in a cracked voice.

"Oh, nothing Mr. Hanson. Mr. Caziano already paid the costs." She nonchalantly answered with a wave of her hand.

"He did?"

"Yes, don't worry. Everything is settled." Her soothing voice sounded like my Mom's in a way...

I turned my attention back to the window pane if I could still see him there outside.


Apparently, I was right in time as I saw a guy suddenly grabbing Blade's arm to pull him. He was on the way back to the salon, I could see that he had parked his Lamborghini as close as possible to the crowd who was waiting at the outer door of the back exit.

The guy was taller than Blade, but Blade has a better built than him. It wasn't unusual that there were also some male fans there who wanted to see me. Mostly gay men.

Even though none of them knew about my gayness, I couldn't deny that I was told very often that I have a big appeal not only with girls and women, but also with many gay men. There had been rumors that I was gay since I was a teenager. I couldn't tell if that was caused by my androgynous look or my
girlish tendencies... maybe both of that.

I continued watching how Blade grabbed his collar and said something to the guy. Despite the noise around him he spoke calmly. There was a young woman beside the man who pulled Blade’s jacket to stop him and talked insistently to him. Blade primitively protective turned his head to her and said something


that certainly caused her to throw her hands up in indignation about his remark. He seemed at once pissed by what she said.

I didn't know which rude remark of his vulgar gutter language vocabulary Zachary used this time that she reacted that way, but it reminded me that I had to talk with him about it at the right time. I can't stand such a crude behaviour. He can't always talk like that with people. That's out of place!

The guy wasn’t smart though, he grasped Blade’s wrists trying to pull his hands away.
I watched the interaction between them through the window pane with heavy apprehension. I couldn’t hear their talking, all I knew was that I was holding my breath the moment Blade pushed the guy who ended up slumped on the ground, gripping his throat.

I thought the ugly scene was already over but, I couldn’t do anything more but to just press my hand over my mouth when one of the guys in the crowd suddenly jumped over to Blade’s back, encircling his arm around his neck. He was probably with the guy Blade just shoved away.

“Oh, God…” I whispered, praying for Zac to make it out of the crowd.

At this point I couldn't just sit still, I started pacing and moving around, moving around irrationally. He was out there among a hysterical crowd of fans and I was just waiting here without doing anything!

Gosh, Taylor what are you doing?!?

I suddenly got angry with myself. He never had to deal with my fans before, he didn't know how crazy they could be. How could I let him to go out there all by himself?!

My bodyguard.... my bodyguard... he was my little brother for heaven's sake!

The voices in my head were shouting at me. I was torn between my voice of reason and my feelings of guilt to show Zachary my trust which I knew that I owed him.

I didn't want the hysterical crowd to see me, but I couldn't stay here, it's making me feel ill, but I knew outside would make me feel worse. It's counter argument after counter argument. Utterly ridiculous and futile, but all very real when I was panicking. I couldn't make up my mind as there were at least two minds trying to kick each other in. I felt completely trapped by my brain.

What if Zac would get hurt out there? I couldn't hold myself back anymore. I had to listen to the voice of reason! Zachary's security was too important for me, I didn't want him to get hurt. I didn't want any harm happening to him.

Even though he pushed his way through the hysterical crowd like he was the king of the jungle I just couldn't stand there watching him fighting without doing anything!

"Mrs. Drakeford, I need the keys for the doors please." I demanded politely but determined as I turned my attention back to her.

"I don't think that's a good idea Mr. Hanson, your bodyguard is out there, he'll get the car for you to leave."

"I have to go. I can't wait anymore."

"The crowd outside is going really crazy because of you. They're already blocking both exit doors."

She looked at me questioning why I didn't want to wait for Blade to come back and let him do his work by himself, but I just couldn't. I was too worried about him. I couldn't care about what Mrs. Drakeford and the other staff were thinking about me. Even if I couldn't do much to help him, at least I would be with him. I couldn't let him alone outside in that hysterical crowd. I was his big brother, I had to look out for him!

I couldn't be considerate of my weakness, my shame and what other people thought about what I was doing. My instinct told me to go out to help Zachary. I had to do something. Immediately!

It didn't matter to me how strong Zachary was, I just couldn't let him alone out there if he might be in danger!

I could feel the confused looks on me from Mrs. Drakeford, Stacey and the rest of their staff. Of course they couldn't understand what I wanted to do.

Hastily, I looked around how to get out and saw that the keys were lying on the counter. I almost forgot about how enfeebled I was because of several days without food. My weak legs reminded me as I stumbled towards the counter and nearly fell down.

Trembling, I grabbed them, hastily searching for the right key of the door.

"It's this one Mr. Hanson." Mrs. Drakeford helpfully took the keys out of my hand and put one of them in keyhole.

"Are you really sure you want to go out there?" She asked me in a worried tone. Doubtlessly, she was still wondering about my actions.

"Yes Ma'am, I gotta go. Please open the door!" I insisted, nodding unconvincingly as my hands started to shake.

"Please be careful. Goodbye Mr. Hanson." She unlocked the door, then pulled it open for me. I immediately was welcomed by the deafening cries and screams from the hysterical crowd, now directly in front of me.

Maybe it was insane, but despite my panic, I just couldn't wait inside and drink coffee, while Zachary might get hurt somewhere out there. "Bye, er.. and thanks for the service Ma'am." I waved a farewell to her, even though I wasn't sure if she could still hear me at all. But she did.

"Anytime Mr. Hanson. Take care!" Through the loud noise, I could only read her reply from her lips, the moment before I walked out of the salon...

previous Chapter 44                                                                                                                                                                next Chapter 46

Chapter Overview: Link
Anonymous( )Anonymous This account has disabled anonymous posting.
OpenID( )OpenID You can comment on this post while signed in with an account from many other sites, once you have confirmed your email address. Sign in using OpenID.
Account name:
If you don't have an account you can create one now.
HTML doesn't work in the subject.


Notice: This account is set to log the IP addresses of everyone who comments.
Links will be displayed as unclickable URLs to help prevent spam.
Page generated Sep. 20th, 2017 06:12 pm
Powered by Dreamwidth Studios